


Paris, Texas

by Sinnamon_Troll



Series: Miraculous Multiverse [27]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: M/M, Miraculous Multiverse, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinnamon_Troll/pseuds/Sinnamon_Troll
Summary: The show if it took place in the redneck stereotype of Paris, Texas. Main focus and ship is on Nathaniel\Marc\Luka as they live in a trailer park with their redneck families. Because of how spread out everyone is in this au, miraculous holders keep their miraculous full time and most fights are done in the backwoods or corn fields where no one sees them. Thus, the town thinks Ladybug and co are cryptids. Marc is WILDLY OOC for this au, for comedy purposes. Warnings: The main trio are dating and the educational system has failed them sex ed wise. NSFW.*This is part of an archival project for https://discord.gg/M9BWvKY and thus is not fanfiction in the traditional sense. This discord is Nathaniel (and Nathmarc) centric, and is devoted to coming up with and developing story ideas. Everyone is welcome to join!
Relationships: Marc Anciel/Luka Couffaine/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Series: Miraculous Multiverse [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824601
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said it in the description, but for the entirety of this fic Marc is EXTREMELY out of character. This is for comedy purposes. Actually pretty much no one is in character. Just think of this as a reality tv show. Because I know you under age fucks are going to come in here and read this, a note that pretty much all of Marc's past and his attitude about sex is neither normal nor healthy. If you or someone you know has a similar past to Marc's, please tell a responsible adult and get them some help. They are not ok.
> 
> This has been copy\pasted from a discord for easy archival purposes. As such, this is not a fanfiction and is not formatted like one. If an actual fanfiction based on this idea exists, a link will be posted below.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

So this takes place in Paris, Texas in the USA. That's the only big change. Ladybug and Chatnoir still exist, Akumas are still a thing, just everything is western culture-ified

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Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Since this is actually a decently small town, I'm giving LB and CN some quality of life power ups since there are no tall buildings to swing from and a good amount of akuma hunts are through the woods and farm land. LB has wings and can fly, and CN is REALLY fast (though not like, super speed) over long distances. It takes him a moment to get going so he can't 0-60 but he can cover a lot of ground.

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Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Adrien and his dad moved out there after Emilie went missing, to get away from the stress of the big city. They're still famous designer\model but Adrien's schedule is a lot more relaxed than in canon. He does still do some photoshoots now and then, and Gabriele still designs, but Gabriele wanted Adrien (out of the house because Hawkmoth) to enjoy life as a teen for a while while they process his mother's "disappearance". Marinette still wants to be a designer, but living in a small town means she has less access to contests and such. Unlike the UK, USA towns (especially small ones) are a lot more spread out so walking anywhere is just not viable. since the cast is 16 some of them have cars. Marinette has her permit, but no car.

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Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Horses are a huge thing in Texas because of all the scrub land, so this rural community is now a horse community, and things like 4H and rodeo shows are big enough that there are school holidays because so many kids needs to help their families during these times no one is in school anyway lol

This is NathMarc because I am fucking WEAK but we'll get to all that later

Chloe is the typical southern belle with daddy being the mayor, and is the head of some sort of uhh idk cultural heritage society socialette thing, and is still pretty much a huge bitch, but the Belles host and organize community events so there's that drama

"Class president" isn't really a thing in small schools so Marinette joins the Belles instead. She's not the new leader, but she did manage to get voted in for the first time this year. Which means access to fancy dresses and parties and such.

The angst part would come from since this is Texas and a small town, being Gay is Not Okay

So Nathamrc (and Julerose) have to hide their relationships, though their friends know and support them

Instead of living on a boat Luka and them live in a trailer park (I want to put Nath in the same park, Maybe Kim, Ivan, and Myelene too) and he has a pickup truck. He's a year or two older than the class and does odd jobs around the town for money. Handy man stuff. He's still super into music but they're poor as shit so he has to help with the bills.

Hmmm....I'm trying to figure out how the Ladyblog would work in this AU since getting around is harder for civilains. Alya having a car isn't a stretch, but back woods fights would be hard to record.

Maybe due to this, a lot of people IN THE TOWN don't think Akumas\LB\CN are real. They think it's all publicity stunts or something kids are making up

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

also due to sterotypes Chatnoir has a bowboy hat and boots but we wont talk about that

Aevus05/03/2020

Okay, thought for the Ladyblog, but like maybe LB/CN/Akumas are regarded as the towns cryptids (the miraculous cure removing all evidence of their fights doesn’t help that) and perhaps Alya is really into cryptid hunting and at the faintest sign of these new ‘cryptids’ she just yeets herself into action

Knight05/03/2020

Do Jueleka, Luka, and Alix still have hair dye?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/03/2020

You mad mans, you actually made this a au

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

I'm not 100% convinced Alix dyes her hair but yes

And I LOVE the Cryptid angle

Might be an excuse to leave miraculous with their holders? Since no one believes they exist, no one (except Alya) is out there trying to expose them

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Alya legit called Hawkmoth "moth man" for the first month he was around

but we don't care about that. We care about The Gays

Having lived in a trailer park in the middle of ass fuck no where and gone to a school in a town where the population was just over 1500 (which, Paris Texas is about 20,000 according to google but) I will be putting lots of unesscery details and drawing on personal experience here and there

that's the town population btw, not the school

So I want to rework Nath and Marc's families for this AU to be more...trailer trash

fuck why not, I'm basing his parents off this friend I used to have who lived across the street

his dad is a mechanic at the local car garage, his mom is unemployed and on drugs\disability. They're both alcoholics. Nath is the second youngest in hmmmm five kids?

I'm not going to flesh out his siblings much more than that because they're not plot relevant, except that he shares a room with his three older brothers (the youngest is a girl and gets her own room, though as second youngest Nath shared with her as a young kid)

He haaates his family and is always trying to be somewhere else.

His parents don't even notice when he's not around

Anarka is a single mom and is pretty relaxed so she doesn't mind when Nath becomes Friends with Luka, (meeting him through Juleka) and crashes with them a lot.

Marc's family moves to the park right before the school year starts, but he's in a different class so they don't become friends until later.

Like, Nath sees him at the bus stop and on the school bus, but they're both quiet and keep to themselves

For Marc I think his mom just went through a divorce so it's only her, but she;s working all the time

Blemir is an adult and she visits, but she stayed with their dad in the city because she's working through college

Marc gets a rough time from the kids at school because he's so damn pretty, but marinette is a sweetheart and befriends him.

Tiny hick school like this wouldn't have something like an art club (or hell, they might not even have an art ROOM in the high school) so I'm trying to think about how Nath and Marc meet other than just seeing each other around

hhhmmmMMMMM well social media is a thing, and Marinette is involved with the Belles and planning shit, so maybe post Evilustrator she keeps trying to include Nath in things and gets him to help with designing some of the things (like invite cards, posters ect) for Belle events (she makes sure he gets paid) and Marc notices his art like that

Nath could still be interested in making a comic, and says as much to Marinette, who relays that to Marc (who has seen the cute quiet boy at his bus stop but doesn't have the courage to talk to him) who writes the "Ladybug" thing

Reverser's entire episode would have to be different because of the different locale uhhh

Well, even horse country has a ton of farmland, and this being a month or two into school would be the right time for harvest\post harvest. If it's Oct then there's a lot of dead dry shit around

Reverser reverses people into hating farming so they go out and set the fields on fire

Reverser: I got burned and now all of you will too!

Which dry grass fires spread FAST so literally everything is on fire

Ladybug ends up having to cast her cure more than once JUST to put the fires out before people like....die

But reverser is like "hey this is working" so he keeps doing it. Little terrorist.

If heroes get to keep their miraculous, Rena and Carapace at the VERY LEAST exist in this au

At some point they just give Reverser Nathaniel just so they can get some breathing room. Rena tries to trick him with an illusion at first, but Reverser sees through it before they can cure him and threatens to start reversing people to make them suicidal\homicidal. No one can stop him if they're all dead

Nathaniel is like "fuck my life"

Reverser yells at him for being a dumbfuck and ripping up his note book, saying things like "I thought you were different"

and it comes out that Marc has a crush on him and Nathaniel is actually pretty flattered

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

They of course eventually do cure Reverser and goes home ashamed

but Nath lives in the same trailer park and scares the shit out of him by creeping up to his window that night and asking to come in so they can talk

They make some small talk to break the ice, find out they have a lot in common...then Nath steels his nerves and mentions that Reverser said that Marc had a crush on him

They're both super blushy about it, but Nath is like "I'll go out with you if you want"

but the twist is Nath is kinda stupid and doesn't realize Marc is a boy

They're lowkey dating for a week, holding hands and stuff, when Nath introduces his new "Girlfriend" to Luka (because they're friends and Nath crashes on his couch a lot) and both Marc and Luka are like uhhhh

Then Nath has an INTENSE sexuality crisis because his home environment isn't the most open minded, and he already gets beaten by his dad\brothers for being the "runt" he's not sure he wants to add gay\bi on top of that

He gets akuamtized again and Evilustrators master plan is "guess I need to kill my familiy"

Which he does because it the response time to akuma attacks is a lot longer in this rural area

Luka has the snake maybe at this point, but this happens when he's at work somewhere

Evilustrator just kidnaps Marc and draws them a nice little house out in the woods somehwere

Marc, meanwhile, is texting Marinette like "HELP"

cell service is fucking awful in the sticks so she doesn't get that message until like three hours later

Meanwhile Evie has been putting on the romance and Marc isn't sure is he should be terrified or into it

I want to say for this au, since everything is so spread out, akumas that last several days before they get cured are not only normal, sometimes it's several days before anyone even realizes there is an akuma at all

but since Marc texted marinette she knows at least to be out looking

Ladybug rounds up the team and is like ok we have a kidnapping situation lets go

When they finally find Marc he is REALLY conflicted because on one hand he has been kidnapped and is being held prisoner

on the other hand the demon that kidnapped him is really cute and totally into him

They gay delema

I don't think I spelled that right but I don't care

SO ANYWAY Evie gets cured and him and Marc have to Talk again about their relationship, which they decided to keep secret because it really isn't safe for nath to come out to his family (who thanks to Ladybug's cure don't remember him murdering them)

So begins the sneaking around to make out in secret

or just on Luka's couch, who is chill with the whole thing as long as they let him watch (he was joking about that but that does happen sometimes because dirty weed man)

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/03/2020

I like this AU.

Alya gets to akuma fights on an ATV her family has. farmers usually have ATVs around.

Marinette's parents eventually surprise her with a used car, its a Volkswagen New Beetle in Red. I can't decide if the car should be the fast one (a 1.8L Turbo), or a diesel (1.9L turbodiesel) because they're in hick country and diesel trucks are popular.

I would also like to point out that there is a town in Texas I can't remember the name of that is proud of being incredibly racist, so Alya and Nino have to be extremely careful to avoid being alone, or being stereotypes.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Since texas is closer to the west coast, there's a lot of anti asian sentiment too left over from WW2

Marinette doesn't LOOK mixed in the show (though her concept art does) but Kim does

and Max....poor Max.

NathMarc and Julerose are surrounded by alies in the class because most of the class is not white and the rest are not completely straight

Ladybug and co, riding up to an akuma battle in Luka's pick up truck

I also want to point out that stray cats are a huuuuuuuge fucking problem in trailer parks

they are just everywhere

not sure if this is relevant information but there it is

Ok maybe Nath and Marc have a space a little into the woods where they hang out (because that's like, a thing in rural areas. Just building little club houses in the woods) and the strays are ok with them because they feed them

hmm except Nath's asshole brothers would find anything he made and destroy it to be dicks

Nyx05/03/2020

Cat babies

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

They're still bros with the cats, but this happens like in Luka's yard (which actually he still lives with his mom but what ever she's never home she works. So does he for that matter)

ALSO being a handy man in horse country means he can lasso rope

do with THAT what you will

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Since Reverser happened differently, Nath got his bondage kink from Luka playfully roping him when they were out Being Boys

Nathaniel: sleeps on Lukas couch, sometimes his bed, lets his friend tie him up to practice his knots, gets very cuddly when high with only his male friends I'm straight and a top

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YePtnXUzFgg

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

or just on Luka's couch, who is chill with the whole thing as long as they let him watch (he was joking about that but that does happen sometimes because dirty weed man)

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/03/2020

I like this AU.

Alya gets to akuma fights on an ATV her family has. farmers usually have ATVs around.

Marinette's parents eventually surprise her with a used car, its a Volkswagen New Beetle in Red. I can't decide if the car should be the fast one (a 1.8L Turbo), or a diesel (1.9L turbodiesel) because they're in hick country and diesel trucks are popular.

I would also like to point out that there is a town in Texas I can't remember the name of that is proud of being incredibly racist, so Alya and Nino have to be extremely careful to avoid being alone, or being stereotypes.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Since texas is closer to the west coast, there's a lot of anti asian sentiment too left over from WW2

Marinette doesn't LOOK mixed in the show (though her concept art does) but Kim does

and Max....poor Max.

NathMarc and Julerose are surrounded by alies in the class because most of the class is not white and the rest are not completely straight

Ladybug and co, riding up to an akuma battle in Luka's pick up truck

I also want to point out that stray cats are a huuuuuuuge fucking problem in trailer parks

they are just everywhere

not sure if this is relevant information but there it is

Ok maybe Nath and Marc have a space a little into the woods where they hang out (because that's like, a thing in rural areas. Just building little club houses in the woods) and the strays are ok with them because they feed them

hmm except Nath's asshole brothers would find anything he made and destroy it to be dicks

Nyx05/03/2020

Cat babies

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

They're still bros with the cats, but this happens like in Luka's yard (which actually he still lives with his mom but what ever she's never home she works. So does he for that matter)

ALSO being a handy man in horse country means he can lasso rope

do with THAT what you will

Sinnamon Troll💖05/03/2020

Since Reverser happened differently, Nath got his bondage kink from Luka playfully roping him when they were out Being Boys

Nathaniel: sleeps on Lukas couch, sometimes his bed, lets his friend tie him up to practice his knots, gets very cuddly when high with only his male friends I'm straight and a top

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YePtnXUzFgg

YouTube

Garfunkel & Oates - Topic

You, Me and Steve

Marc @ Nath about Luka

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Also, skinny dipping is huge thing in the backwoods, This is also why maybe you shouldn't.

https://www.facebook.com/102282061453675/videos/3468420129841587/

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Marc: So is there something you guys want to tell me

Luka and Nath, cuddling and kissing on the couch:We're just friends

Which, Queer Platonic is a thing so that's entirely possible

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

If miraculous holders are permanant here, how would they get the Bee back from Chloe?

I don't think their "well it's not safe for you" thing is going to hold water here

They could still take it away, but Chloe would raise hell and akumatize even faster

tries to make plot

hmmm not gay enough

back to the trailer park drama

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/04/2020

back to the basics

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

So like, rural trailer parks have wild animals just chilling where ever they want

Marc is from the city and the first time he's relaxing outside with the gang and sees a snake he screams like a little girl and tries to climb Luka (because he's the tallest) to get away from it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/04/2020

As you do

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Nath just picks it up like "why are you screaming this one isn't even poisonous"

Marc: THIS ONE?!

Luka: gently pries Marc off of him they're just friendly noodles

MARC: THEY ARE NOT

Luka: bending down to pat another random snake that showed up Fun bois

(since we have a rural setting, I want to say that animals are naturally attracted to Miraculous holders of their type if they have the miraculous on them all the time)

(so there's a lot of snakes in the trailer park)

since Luka is the only holder who currently lives there if we go with only canon holders thus far

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/04/2020

Wowie

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Nath: You're gay but you don't like snakes?

Marc: what in the WORLD does that have to do with anything???

Nath, a teenageboy: chuckling slightly you know...."snakes"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/04/2020

Nath, jokingly: Is that a snake in your pants or are you just happy to see me 

Luka: Pulling out snake from pants how'd you know?

Marc: what thE FUCK-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Luka: very serious the common trouser snake can shoot it's 'venom' up to four feet away

Marc: I am never leaving my house again

oh, they troll him

The guys want to go romping through the woods before the good weather is all gone, maybe have a bonfire and Marc is like no thanks, I am not going anywhere I can't see my feet and surroundings at all times

Marinette, doing work to plan for the next Belle event: Marc why are you here instead of fishing with the guys?

Marc: Because boys are absolute filthy heathens and I am NOT getting tossed in a dirty, scum covered lake because they think it will be funny

Marinette: understandable. Pass me the construction paper

Nathaniel: comes up to him reeking of mud and pond water hey 8)

Marc: do NOT touch me until you have showered

This is like the complete opposite of Mafia au lol

Nathaniel's brothers are all redneck assholes so when they find out the "prissy new boy" is afraid of snakes they keep going out to find them and throw them at him. Maybe toss rubber ones at him

Luka has to threaten them to leave his "poor noodle friends" alone

Nath's brothers are lowkey afraid of Luka ever since he beat them up when him and Nath first became friends because they were ganging up on Nath and beating HIM up

pfft

They have spaghetti for lunch at school one day and Nath just dead pans at marc "Friendly noodles"

and then loses it laughing

Marc: Why am I dating you

Nath: Because you kidnapped me and it would be rude not to at this point?

Marc: I'm not responsible for the things I do while possessed by a demon

the super conservative christian kids who are the bane of every small school: :eyes: ?

also

Nath: I'm sleeping on Luka's couch again because my brothers are bullying me....again

Marc: Ok time to show you how we deal with punks in the big city flips open a knife

Luka: Arn't you going to stop him

Nath: No, no, let's see where he goes with this

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/04/2020

AMAZING ICONIC WE STAN

Do Nath and Marc still have their comic about the cryptids

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

Yes

It's kinds slow going because once again, Nath's family sucks and his bros will destroy his art stuff if they find it

which is why he spends so much time with Luka

who has low key adopted him

also, ticks are a huge problem in rural areas so if you go tromping through the woods you need to check yourself where ever there is hair to make sure you don't have any

it's easier for friends\family to check than you on areas like your head (and back) but

Marc: walks in to see Luka's face inches away from Nath's bare dick EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME?

Nath: Hey! We're just checking for ticks!

Luka: We should probably give you a once over too, you didn't go out with us but it IS tick season

Marc: is just legit not sure if they're messing with him anymore about not being together in some way I think I can check myself thanks

I'm not sure if this is going to be ot3 or not

There's great comedy for Luka and Nath being just friends, but super close

but also poor Marc's heart

Nath, who really doesn't have any other really close guy friends (or friends at all except Alix but she doesn't live in the park): What do you mean this isn't normal

sitting on Luka's lap while they watch netflix

Marc: Look I'm just trying to understand. You get blushy and squirmy when you just hold my hand, but you'll sleep in his bed naked with no problem

Nath: Well that's because Luka is Luka and you're...well I....squirms and blushes ireallylikeyousoit'sembaressing

Marc: what?

Nath: covers his face with his hands It's harder to be intimate with you because I have f-f-feelings for you....and Luka is just Luka

Knight05/04/2020

Luka: Exuse me?

Sinnamon Troll💖05/04/2020

(if we're going the Just Friends route, Nath thinks of him as a brother, and if you have a big family in a small trailer, things like nudity are shrugged off because you're packed in so close you can't get away from it)

(if we're going the low key relationship....Nath is just dumb lol)

also also this is in TEXAS so even if they have a little window airconditioner for their trailer, it gets hoooooot and sometimes naked is just the best way to be

Nath shares his room with his three older brothers in this. He doesn't think anything about being naked around family

It just doesn't occur to him that some other people might find that weird

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Luka takes a nap outside and wakes up covered in snakes

They're just chilling

Since I'm loosely basing Nath's redneck family on someone I knew, his dad owns a car repair garage and forces the sons to help out there (without pay)

but anything car related is @Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc) department

Cheshire05/05/2020

wait, if they’re country people, does that mean that Nathaniel can actually get roosters to like him? does Nath hav the most terrifying army of foul fowl at his peck and caw?

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

he has to get his miraculous first, but maybe? Chickens are the one thing I never saw at a trailer park

Though this is Texas and fiction so they could

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

Nath: GO FORTH MY ARMY

Angry clucks slowly get louder

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

yea, if anyone finds out that Nath's family is forcing child labor for no pay, he can get in serious trouble for that.

There's actual certifications to be able to work on cars in shops, known as ASE certifications, and they have to be renewed every 4 years. There's a certification for every system on a car, especially since most cars/trucks are computerized now.

And then there's insurance. He can get fucked by them if his workers have no certifications. It's literally cheaper for him to pay his kids to work than to not pay them.

In the anime, Initial D, Takumi started doing the tofu deliveries and helping his father's tofu shop at 13, and his father paid him, secretly. Basically his father opened an account in his son's name when he started helping out and paid him into that. His son didn't know about the account until he turned 18, coincidentally just after he blew the engine in the Toyota Corolla they used for deliveries while street racing it.

So I'd say Nath's dad has secret accounts for each of his kids that help out in the shop, and he pays for his kids to get ASE certifications because it makes things cheaper for him

also, mechanic pay is fucking weird if anyone wants me to explain how mechanics are usually paid

also, assuming access isn't a bitch, tearing down an engine is really quick. I've taken an engine apart completely disassembled in under 2 hours. I always say that if you can turn a ratchet, you can build a car.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

just to be clear, he's paying them to cover his own ass. Not because he actually cares about them

and, just because he pays them to an account in their name, doesn't mean the money needs to stay there

or does it

I'm not up to date on those laws

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

alright. Onto the topic of mechanic pay. Mechanic's aren't paid normally. It's done in a way ti incentivize getting shit done fast.

Mechanics are paid hourly... kinda. They have a set pay per hour like most jobs, but they get paid by the job. Say someone comes in with a car and the battery won't charge. After diagnosing it they find the problem is the alternator. well, every car has a"book time" or a standardized reasonable amount of time to replace the part. The mechanics are paid by that time. So say that specific car, "the book" will say it should take 8 hours to replace the alternator (usually a 15-20 minute job, but I once owned a car where that was the case). The mechanic would be paid for 8 hours of work regardless of whether it took them 3 hours or 12 to do. and if the mechanic isn't working on a car, they're not getting paid, so by this, you can see it incentivizes people who can work fast.

@Sinnamon Troll💖 are you able to understand my babble?

Knight05/05/2020

I am

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

yeah I see that

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

  1. Say a shop gets in 3 of that same car in one day with the same issue (unlikely unless it's part of a fleet for a business but to help illustrate my point). The book time says 8 hours, but the mechanic knows a trick to get it done in 3. So the mechanic spends 9 hours replacing the alternators on all 3 cars. They technically did 9 hours of work, but they'd be paid for 24 hours of work.



Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

got it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

:000 that's cool

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

not really. It's very cutt-throat when you think about it since it incentivizes speed over accuracy. It's also very harsh on slower mechanics. If a mechanic spent 12 hours on that car, he'd be paid for 8 hours, so he'd be losing money.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

oh oof

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

it also leads some shops to outright refuse to work on certain cars because they can't make money on the car because the car is too hard to work on (has happened to me before).

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

oh o o f

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

like a lot of shops will outright refuse to work on cars with the Cadillac Northstar V8 engine because the engine is notoriously hard to work on, which is exacerbated because Northstars used to have a problem with blowing headgaskets, a very labor-intensive part to replace.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

So how does this all work into the au? Their dad is an alcoholic btw and probably harder drugs. So is their mom

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

A car with the engine in question. As you can see, it's basically all engine and access to shit is hard.

as to the AU, this might work in because Nath's dad advertises that they work on all cars, and gives the shit hard jobs to his sons, and takes the easy jobs himself

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

he claims it's "practice"

He makes nath work there are lot, trying to cure him of his "pussy ass art habit"

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

on one hand, he's being a dick. On the other, his laziness is teaching his kids valuable life skills

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

don't trust no bitch

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

I was gonna say how to tear down an engine to nuts and bolts in under 2 hours, but ok

Nath can tech Luka to repair shit on his truck to save money, but this also keeps the truck out of the shop.

Marc is amazed they can work on cars at all.

Nath: Ok, Luka. There should be 3 12mm bolts holding in the knuckle.

Luka: Ok. I see them. Marc, hand me the long handle ratchet with the 12mm socket attached

Marc: hands him a 12mm wrench

Luka and Nath: stare at him

Nath: do... do you not know what a ratchet is? A wrench won't fit in the space.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Marc: I grew up in the city. I wear make up and my nails are perfectly manicured. The only "tool" I've ever held I was born attached to.

He thinks it's neat to learn though and pesters Nath to teach him some stuff

As a running gag, all of Nath's family (which in this au is three older brothers and one younger sister plus parents) think marc is a girl because nath is too afraid to correct them and Marc low key understands that it isn't safe for them to be out

If it ever comes to that though, his dad pitches a fit but ultimately gets over it. His mom doesn't care

His sister is super on board because nath, being closest in age, is her favorite sibling

and the brothers are like "we've known you were gay since you were like 8"

But their dad has bad moments where he flies into rages and starts swinging, so nath is scared

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

Nath's sister is the only one to see Marc as a male from the beginning. SHe keeps it quiet because she's a hardcore yaoi fangirl who fetishizes gay relationships

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

oh no

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

pppffffft oh noo

she's like 13 give her a break

She also gets along really well with Marc because FINALLY there is someone to do her nails with

She never really clicked with Juleka

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

because Juleka would constantly try to scare her.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Rude

unamed little sis to Nath, about Marc: You're marrying him right? You should. He's cooler than you

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

she writes fanfics about her brother and his bf

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Nath: You're only saying that because he knew what kind of shirt you were wearing beyond "purple"

Does Marc proof read for her

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

LG: You should have known it was fuschia and not purple! You're the artist!

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

(I was saying more like, it was a halter top vs a tank top)

She's really into fashion and adores the Belles. She's met Marinette a couple times because she pestered Nath into introducing them when she found out he had a classmate that was a designer

but the family is really poor so she can't do much fashion wise

Most of her clothes are handme downs from her brothers

She literally cried when Marinette donated some of her old clothes to her

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

she tries to get Marinette to teach her to sew and design her own clothes, so she can turn old clothes that don't fit anymore into new stuff

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

For a really long time since Nath had a crush on Marinette she was wingmanning for that HARD


	2. Chapter 2

big question: Can Marc cook or is he a microwave man

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

I'd say microwave man

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Nath's mom (in one of her more lucid moments) chides him like "Don't pick a girl just based on looks. She needs to be useful in the house too"

Nath: H-"She" can clean really well? Her room is spotless

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

Nath's mom is a nice open-minded woman, but she's got an opiod addiction that leave her high and spaced out a lot of the time

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

She's also on disability for...mmm I think it was a hip replacement? That never healed right?

I didn't ask too many questions back then, I just knew my friend's mom had some Problems

And yeah she was nice enough most of the time. Most of the time

never saw her without a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, even when driving. Her or the dad

But anyway, Marc is trying to learn car stuff and Nath likes teaching him on their little dates

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

My dad had a hip replacement surgery back in 2013, he was up and walking better than before the very next day

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

intense shrug I know she had SOME sort of physical thing wrong with her and she was on disability. The hip comment was because I recall her talking about not being able to go through metal detectors because of some sort of metal thing in her body

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

depends on what the hip replacement is made from. My dad's is titanium and he's had no issues with metal detectors. I've had issues with steel toe boots and occasionally a belt buckle though

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

I have no idea if this woman is even alive anymore

The last time I saw my friend we were mmmMMMMM 18? 19? At a new years party

We just both moved away and never kept in touch

I know my friend went into the military though

So on that note Idon't even know if SHE'S alive oof

I wonder if I could find her on facebook....

ANYWAY

Homecoming games\dance are a huge thing in american schools anyway, and in small towns even more so because it's a chance to PARTY

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

>facebook

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

I only went to two dances and I cannot fathom why anyone would ever want to go to such a droll thing but it's a teen staple so

For homcoming, the real allure is the "secret" kegger held out in the back woods as an after party

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

i go to school dances to hang with friends esdjhf

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

the two dances I went to were the most booooring things ever, BUT I have since learned they were not what most people consider normal since they were HEAVILY chaperoned

If you were going to dance with someone of the opposite sex you HAD to stay arms length apart or farther or they would physically pull you apart and sometimes make you leave

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

kjedsnbfs oh dang

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

The lights were off in the gym, but they were shining flashlights everywhere like search lights to check on people....constantly

Once you eneterd the gym there was a guard at the door, and the rest of the hallway was blocked off and strictly monitored to make sure kids didn't wander

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

they made each of the homecoming queens and kings (there was a pair for each grade) at mine slow dance together and it was awkward bc I knew the freshman queen and she had a boyfriend who wasn't the freshman king

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

ew forced dancing

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

right????

bruh moment I'd immediately run away back to my friends if that was me

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Since nathmarc are trying to keep their relationship a secret from the public at large, they go to homecoming to chill with their friends, but the after party is where the fun starts

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

:eyes:

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

There's a huge bonfire, dirty dancing, and def alcohol

No one ever voted yay or nay to NathMarcLuka so I still don't know what's going on in that respect and I need to know for this next scene-

I'm good either way

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

I'd say go for it

Knight05/05/2020

I thought Sin was just over 18

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

meow?

Knight05/05/2020

AND NOW I FIND OUT THE THAT YOUR OLDER

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

yeah lol you're about a decade off

how do you do fellow cool kids

Off topic but do you know how hard it is to be a straight laced professional and a complete fucking weeb at the same time

it's like I'm a double agent

anyway, so Nath is the only one who didn't know he was dating Luka

And Luka and Marc have a talk to the side with Luka explaining that they're more casual than serious, and he'll step aside if Marc really wants him to

and Marc is conflicted because he really like Nath and doesn't want to share, but he's also seen how close and happy Luka and Nath are and he doesn't want to take that from him

Marc says as much and Luka gives him a wink and says he doesn't mind dating both of them

I have a point to all this I swear

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

poly rights

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

so the only thing is to get Nath on board with Both of them and Luka isn't above playing dirty

At the bonfire, Nath is awkwardly trying to dance with Marc and Luka comes up behind him "No, you gotta do it like this" grabs his hips and grinds into him from behind

Marc, catching on: Like this? presses himself against Nath's front and does the same

Nath: UhhhHHHH????? :exploding_head:

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

ah yes, the gay panic

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

yea, dances were always boring whether it was homecoming or prom. There WAS an event I remember as fun from high school. I switched schools in the middle of my sophomore year. Anyways. My freshman year, our school had a "Lockdown" event. Basically, you went to the school at like 4-6 PM< and they locked the doors and you weren't allowed to leave, unless it was a medical emergency, until like 6-7AM the next morning. There was a DJ, catering, games, prizes, little shop booths, etc, all night long

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

was it fun

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

yes

very fun

My best friend, Allison, and I had a blast that night, though I basically crashed on the gym bleachers the final 2 hours

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

WHAT LOCKDOWNS AT MY SCHOOL ARE ONLY TIL 7 LUCKYYY

we had an escape room at the last one tho

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

this was back in like 2004

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

My group were the first ones to complete it ever!!

Oh oop

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

cell phones weren't common among teenagers back then

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

nod nod

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

I didn't get my first cell phone until I think late into my sophomore year, after we moved. It was a Motorola flip phone.

this was also before the first iPhone

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Marc and Luka test the waters between them when Nath is gone (usually working at his dad's shop)

Nath walks in on them one day and is like "I'm glad you two are getting along so great! beaming smile"

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

Marc, seeing Luka naked for the first time

Marc: Wow. Everything really is bigger in Texas

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Marc: He's so fucking stupid

Luka: He....has his moments

Marc: It's really hot

Morosexual Marc returns

sdjkfsdljfsdfs

You saw your chance and you TOOK IT

Sinnamon Troll💖

pinned 

a message

to this channel. 

See all the pins.

05/05/2020

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

yes I did

If you don't want me to take a swing, don't set me up for it

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

oh no man, batter up

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

lol

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

mmm...batter....doughnuts....

I haven't had a doughnut in like squints a callender two months and it will be at least another month before I can rip

but ANYWAY

I think maybe I should call it a night but this au calls me with it's hijinks

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/05/2020

hijinks are fun

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Marc is still terrified of snakes which Luka needs to cure him of since he has the snake miraculous (which is a secret from them since they don't have their own miraculous yet)

Luka: holding a little garter snake look, he's friendly.

Marc: NO IT ISN'T

Luka: This little guy doesn't even have teeth come on

The only kind of snakes Marc tolerates are the one eyed variety

Knight05/05/2020

Marc: I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES

Luka: heh, chances

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Marc wont talk to him for a solid week when Luka hides a snake in his pants and tells Marc to close his eyes

Marc kissed it, and then was REALLY surprised when it kissed back

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

Is that a snake in your pants or you just happy to see me

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

because he didn't think the "snake" he was kissing could do that

okay one more thing before I go

Marc: Why does Nathaniel unironically think that "brojobs" are a real thing

Luka: Yeah that one's one me....

Marc: Aparently.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/05/2020

Luka tried to keep Nath from growing too hyper-sexual but accidentally made him oblivious

Sinnamon Troll💖05/05/2020

Luka's only a year older than them in this, so about 17-18 and when they first started messing around it was an accident fueled by weed

Luka panicked and made excuses then kept digging himself in deeper with every "Oh, this is just what close friends do..." lie

for the record he feels really guilty about it sometimes because Nath trusts him so completely and blindly he believes things like that

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/06/2020

In an attempt to help Marc overcome his fear of snakes, Luka signs them both up for a herpetology class. slowly, Marc learns not to fear them during the class since not only is he exposed to numerous reptiles and amphibians, it's educational so he learns what are misconceptions and what's truth and fact.

Marc: Why is that lizard bobbing its head up and down repeatedly?

Teacher: Oh that's our iguana. and it's mating season. See, he's never been around other iguanas, so he sees humans as competition, even if there's no females around. Bobbing his head repeatedly is supposed to be a form of intimidation to prove he's the dominant male

Marc: That's actually kinda cute. The bobbing is more funny than intimidating.

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/06/2020

Luka: Mating season huh? grabs Marc's ass

Teacher, oblivious: Yea. See the Iguana's orangish color? They turn this color during mating season to be more visible to potential mates.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

I looked it up and apparently some snakes turn colors in mating season too

Viperion shows up to the next akuma attack, and his suit is bright orange instead of green

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Ladybug: What happened?

Viperion: I guess I wanna get laid???

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

The team thinks he's an akuma until he says something like "animal side effect" which is the code they use for the miraculous messing with them

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Haha o u c h

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

All the holders are permanent once they get their miraculous (barring Chloe maybe, because she wasn't supposed to get the bee?) and since they're so spread out who ever is closest to the attack is who responds.

Or if they're going back woods hunting they all have a group chat (with false names) to coordinate out of costume

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Viperion: Yo you coming over to avoid your parents again? They're kinda shitty

Ladybug: ,,,what

Chat Noir: Who were you trying to text

Viperion: Ignore this-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

The team gets concerned becayse they're nice people

Viperion is like look, it's not my place to tell you my friend's business, and there's nothing we could do anyway

at some point Nath and Marc DO get miracualous....but when

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Does miracle queen happen?

Maybe Luka suggests them

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

that means he's not the snake anymore oh nooo

WAIT

if they already have their miraculous, maybe the reveal didn't happen because they were all already transformed?

hmmm but if there's not an active akuma there's no reason for them to be transfomed

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

:thinking: :thinking:

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

maybe it took so long for everyone to show up that the ones like Luka and Kagami who were father away didn't get there in time for the reveal?

Just the ones who live closer\in town?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Yee thats good

Nath, frantically texting Luka: BEES! BEES EVERYWHERE!

Luka: Oh no

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

like when I bussed to school it was an hour ride (but that was because the bus kept making stops) so driving straight there would take at least 30 min

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Dang

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

"why are you always tired" well because if school starts a 7am, I need to get up at 5am or earlier to get dressed and make food and commute

then you don't drop into bed until like after 10pm because your circadian rhythm is different as an adolecent\teen PLUS you need more sleep on average so you just...suffer

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Yeah my school is like 45 mins away in the morning too ://

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

"why are you always sleeping" because I'm TIRED bitch leave me alone

cough anyway

college is soooo much better

but back on topic

in order to give out a miraculous they need to have powers that are useful in some way

I think in most of these AU's we have the rooster doing some kind of "reset" thing on miraculous timers so THAT's useful but what about the goat

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

That's a toss-up 

I've seen several that focus it around dreams tho (Not sure why)

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

looks to the side in guilty

Nyx05/06/2020

Cause goats are close to sheep or something, and counting sheep helps you go to sleep

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Oh kk

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

yes that

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

W

What did your message mean

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

knight mentioned they saw a reddit post saying that the goat could have the user be able to move through solid objects

It means I too, gave goat marc dream powers in my fic lool

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Astral Projection is the term right?? I've seen a Fic like that too

Oh lol

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

Astral Projection is different from

come on brain

INTANGIBLE

Astral projection your soul leaves your body behind in a useless meat pile

Intangible means you can walk through solid objects

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Oh nice

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

Accepted


	3. Chapter 3

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

They're SUPPOSED to be keeping their identities a secret, but the three of them live so far away from all the others and once the sideffects kick in it's REALLY hard to hide if you know what you're looking for

Marc wouldn't have a goat problem but Nathaniel totally has a chicken problem

Despite the park continually telling people they can't have live chickens wandering about, trailer park people just....don't care

so there's free range chickens that wander about because it's Texas Stereotype Land

One problem though is chickens haaaaate snakes

Most birds do

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

Luka: MY CHILDREN

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

they'll try to stomp a rope to death if it looks like a snake

They're just protecting their flock but this could cause some tension as the chickens keep trying to come chill with Nath, but Nath chills with Luka and the SNAKES chill with Luka

Nath also starts to get aggressive towards Luka sometimes, not in angry way but in a "top" way I guess?

like that thing in bad shojos where the guy slams his hand against the wall where the girl is standing

Or puffing out his chest like he's getting ready to fight when he see's Luka

but Nath is like a foot shorter and Luka just thinks it's adorable

Nath: COME AT ME BRO

Luka: easily wrestles him to the ground and sits on him until he's calmed down

Nath get's in trouble at school too because chickens are ALWAYS ready to fight so instead of keeping his head down when people start messing with him and Marc he beats the crap out of them now

goats like to climb things so Marc will often find himself ontop of the trailer or Luka's truck and then he can't get down

Orikko, Ziggy, and Sass, just chilling and enjoying the show

another odd fact but chickens loooove tomatoes

Nyx05/06/2020

So Nath becomes a cannibal

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

I mean, all chickens are so

Nathaniel, having fried chicken for the first time since he got his miraculous

Nath: Why does this taste so much better than usual

Sinnamon Troll💖05/06/2020

https://imelizabethnoelamoons.tumblr.com/post/617397305329549312/marc-wearing-an-extremely-oversize-shirt-that

Marc: *wearing an extremely oversize shirt that looks like they don't have anything underneath*

Nathaniel: um... are you wearing anything under that?

Marc: * slowly pulls up their shirt to reveal booty shorts* of course i am, why wouldn't i?

Nathaniel: *turning away disappointment* n-no reason…

it gets really hot in texas

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/06/2020

lol

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Marc: walking in on this conversation....Are you two high?

Luka: Yeah but don't tell marc he'll bitch at us again

Nath: He's pretty but sometimes a buzzkill, weed and snakes can't hurt you. Not even weed snakes

Luka nad Nath giggle like a couple of idiots over "weed snakes"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Marc: ...Oh god, I'm a moronsexual

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/07/2020

I love how, in another AU, I paired Marc with Kim and Marc was enamored because Kim was so stupid, and now Marc is a moron-sexual in every other AU

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

It's a fun trope

also these boys can't stop being stupid so

ALSO I can confirm that you can both be stupid AND really smart at the same time

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

M e

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Most of Nath and Luka's stupid comes from being redneck teenage boys which when you get a group of them together, any individual brain cells they had vanish

They also have a crush on Marc and my male friends have told me that boy also lose all their brain cells when their crush is around

"We can only think with one head at a time"

or so I've been told

So, as also a boy, what stupid things has Marc done

Shadow, King of Admin05/07/2020

Can confirm

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

My memory has just reminded me that aligaotrs are a thing in texas

Marc seeing one wander into the park and being like looK!!! 8D

And Luka bodily scooping him up and going inside like nope we don't mess with that

Nathaniel on the other hand

Nath: PA!!! THERE'S A GATOR OUTSIDE!!

Nath's dad and his brothers swarm out with ropes and the shot gun

Later, at the BBQ

Nath: Try it it's good

Marc:.....No thank you.....

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Marc: Friend...Gone... :(

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Luka: happily munching his own piece of gator Aligators are food, not friends

They invite the whole park because Alligators are BIG and community hospitality is a big thing in the rural south

and even so they have enough to still be eating it for a week

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Wow

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Never had Aligator myself, but I've had beaver. It's kinda spicy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Fjrjjrjr dang

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

but yeah Aligators eat pets and small children so they gotta go

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/07/2020

My dad had bear once. He said it's really good, kinda like beef.

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Luka: Marc why are you chill with alligators but not snakes

Marc: Danger noodles

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Marc: Snakes can kill you! Aligators just want to chill!

Luka: You have got that so backwards I don't even-

Real talk though if you see a snake in the south stay away it's probably super venomous

My cousins used to talk about catching Armadillos and cooking them

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

We had a snake get in our pool by accident 

My dad tried to get it out using a pool net but it went into a vent

I asked after what happened but apparently the snake disappeared so rip I guess??

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

They say you cook 'em right in the shell and I was like ???!!! ok now THOSE are friends not food!

but when you're hungry shrug

being the runt of the litter, so to speak, Nath is hungry a lot

His brothers steal food from him (which his sister doesn't have that problem because she is the only girl AND the baby so she's the favorite)

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Oh oof

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Luka is happy enough to feed him, but Anarka is like "Did we adopt that boy when I wasn't looking? He basically lives here now can he pay rent?"

which, according to Snec he legally has to get paid for working in his dad's garage forced to or not buuuut his dad is also an ass and probably "garnishes" his wages for well the legal papers probably say "rent"

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

Damn :///

Sinnamon Troll💖05/07/2020

Luka has a job already to help with bills and such

nath DOES get paid commission for things he makes for the Belles

He's happy to help out the couffaines when he can

Nath, to Anarka: Don't make me go home and I'll pay you what ever I have

Anaraka, who is actually a bleeding heart and would let him stay for free: Deal

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/07/2020

When you try to act tough but you're a softie

Sinnamon Troll💖05/09/2020

Sinnamon Troll💖05/10/2020

So that aforementioned Rodeo show happens. Luka is helping out as a cowhand and Nath is helping his dad run the booth his dad got this year to advertise the garage, which Nath is super excited about because he loves horses

I think it's free to get in, you just have to pay to go to events or ride rides if there's a carnival section, so Marc goes with them to see what all the fus is about

marc is....not impressed but when Nath gets a break from the booth because his brothers are nice for once and let him do, he enjoys listening to nath excitedly tell him about all the horses

Luka entered a roping competition for the prize money and they're both cheering him on, because he didn't spend the past month obsessively roping them for practice for nothing

like just-

Marc: hi guys what's going OOOOOOON??? a rope suddenly snaps around his middle, dragging him off his feet LUKA!

Luka: Struggle as hard as you can! I need to see how long I can hold on!

MARC: GET THIS THING OFF ME-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/10/2020

Anarka, watching: kinky

Nath: Wow they're becoming such close friends :DDD

Sinnamon Troll💖05/10/2020

At what point do they get nath to realize they're all dating?

because remember, he thinks Brojobs are a real thing

and as much as it grosses me out, I HAVE seen families that kiss on the mouth for platonic affection

redneck stereotypes, nath's family is probably the type

Sinnamon Troll💖05/11/2020

While waiting for Nathaniel to realize he likes boys, Marc and Luka go on a nice date

Luka gets a few candles up and sets them up in a nice spot in the woods, and they have a little twilgiht picnic

Marc: Should I be concerned that you are draggin me out in the middle of no where with no witnesses?

Luka: kisses him but no witnesses is the best part

marc: laughs softly if you think these pants are coming off, you've got another thing coming. There are like, a bajillion mosquitos out here

Luka: They're going to have to get in line if they want to suck on you

Marc: oh my god stop laughing

Sinnamon Troll💖05/11/2020

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Luka: Let me play you a song Starts playing guitar

Marc: Is...Is this taylor swift

Luka: shuT

Sinnamon Troll💖05/11/2020

later when they come back, holding hands and laughing

Nath: I'm glad they get along so well when I'm not here

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Someone: Are you three dating

Luka: Yes actually

Nath: ...Wait when did we start dating??

Luka and Marc:

Marc: this is your fault

Luka: I k n o w-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/11/2020

Marc: Nath I know what your cum tastes like. If we're not dating, then you owe me some money

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/11/2020

Nath: IKBEZK MARC

Luka: I mean he's right-


	4. Chapter 4

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/12/2020

I stumbled across this, and immediately thought of this AU. I don't care how it's integrated, but this song is canon at some point in this AU.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mLimHwl-WA

YouTube

Skitsofrenic

You Can't Pray The Gay Away | Skitso Music | Skitsofrenic

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

oh nooo lol

But you make a good point. Deep south redneck trailer park family? They go to church every sunday

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Nath's mom, who still thinks Marc is a girl: We haven't seen you at church yet dear! Why don't you come on down with us this Sunday?

Marc: Oh no thank you. My mom and I don't go to church

Nath's mom, taking Nath aside: I don't know if this sinful city girl is good for you

Nath: What are you talking about? Marc is an angel. If anything I'm the bad influence

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/12/2020

I'm gonna headcanon Nath's mom's name as Clara for this AU< mainly because the idea of a bible thumper reminds me of Princess Clara from Drawn Together.

Clara: I just don't know what to do with him.

Other mom friends: What do you mean?

Clara: He spends all his time with his heathen friends, the Couffaine kids, and that new Marc girl. Did you know they don't go to church?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/12/2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq5wOdE9yGo

YouTube

DrawnForever

Drawn Together - Introducing The Cast

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

but this is TEXAS AU so let me just say, to be on topic, that Nath burns in the sun (not as bad as some other redheads but) and he thinks it is VERY unfair that Marc, who has lovely soft skin, only ever tans

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/12/2020

anyways, thoughts on Nath's mom being Clara as a Drawn Together reference? I think Clara's Bible thumping would fit right in in Texas

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

sure, but she needs to be like 200+ lbs

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/12/2020

sure

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

I mean, I guess she doesn't need to be, but I've been basing Nath's redneck family on the family of a friend I used to have lol

So another fun rooster\chicken fact, a good rooster (and most roosters) are ready to DIE for their flock. Like, if a fox comes after them the rooster will fight to the death (and usually win)

Which means post getting his miraculous, Nathaniel no longer has good risk assesment skills

He will absolutely throw down with the quarter back just because he looked at him (or Marc) funny

Nath keeps getting into fights (instead of just beat up) and his dad is like "Holy shit you're finally becoming a man, I'm so proud"

but really he just has chicken rage

His parents attribute his new agression to "having a pretty girl to show off for"

but things like this also happen

Nath: I brought you a worm hands it out to Marc

Marc:....I do not want a worm

Nath: thinking to himself My offering was not enough, I must find MORE worms

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Marc: Instead of worms what about you bring me money

Nath: ok!

Luka: Are you making Nath your sugar daddy

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Marc: If it was legal I'd make him my husband, so we'll just have to settle for sugar daddy until Texas legalizes not only gay mariage, but multiperson weddings

Knight05/12/2020

I never understood getting married

Like

Your just going to lose the ring

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

god same I don't wanna wear a ring @ all times

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Tax benefits

though depending, you might be WORSE off if you marry

Knight05/12/2020

Ooh

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

But there's also things like, if your spouse gets into an accident'the hospital they will only allow family or married couples

or if you want to put them on your health insurance

but all in all, expensive ring + weddings that are over $30,000 are wastes of money

I think a wedding that is over $1000 is too much but

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

imagine paying over 30,000 dollars for a wedding

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

imagine having $30,000

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Sweats in rich kid

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

bruh

we're also off topic again. We're terrible

Luka, in his on going "make Marc less afraid of snakes" crusade, puts a sock puppet on his dick that looks like a snake

Marc is not amused, but nath is

Shadow, King of Admin05/12/2020

Where would you get a sock that big?

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Knee socks exist

and so do thigh highs

Shadow, King of Admin05/12/2020

I had to make the joke, Sneks not here, someone had to do it

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Later, Luka being a smartass, puts the puppet on his hand and wiggles his eyebrows at marc

He makes it do a Voice like "I am a curse prince and I need a kiss to return to my true, well endowed, form"

Marc: no

Luka: Pllleeeasss Kisss mee?

Marc: NO

Luka: making the puppet "kiss" Marc all over the face Mwa! Mwa! Mwa! Kisses!

Marc: NATHANIEL! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A SNAKE

Nath: rooster rage activates

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Nath, tackling Luka and biting the puppet: This isn't a snake

Luka: NATHANIEL KURTZBERG WHAT THE FUCK-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

It's on his hand but still

Nath tears it up and stomps on it

Nath: Threat nurtalized

Marc: patting his head good boy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Is Luka still wearing it or-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

on his HAND

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

Okay so now Luka's hand is demolished got it

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Nath rips it off his hand, I thought you were asking did like, Nath rip it off his dick and go feral

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

oh dsjheba

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

Luka, getting his dick mauled by an angry rooster: SCREAMING

Marc: Oh shit this backfired! trying to pull Nath off because they need that

which roosters do the SNAKE STOMP thing and THEN tear it up with their beaks so Nath essentially punches him in the crotch

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/12/2020

oh n o

rip Luka's baby maker

Sinnamon Troll💖05/12/2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki4DGwui_70

YouTube

Nat Geo WILD

Rooster v. Cobra: Who Will Win? | Nat Geo Wild

Sinnamon Troll💖05/13/2020

Sorry to all the other au's I'm neglecting to fawn over this one

After Phoenix and Stardust join the team, they get to go fight their first akuma.

A message goes out on the group chat like "guys get to X address there's an akuma in the area" and they meet up with Luka who is like "man that's pretty far, guess we better take my truck"

But Phoenix and Stardust (for this au at least) are like but we can fly

Phoenix has wings and Stardust can ride his staff like a witch's broom

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/13/2020

Aw yeah flying powers

Sinnamon Troll💖05/13/2020

Stardust: Hop on. Oh, but sit sideways or your balls will get crushed

Viperion: You know what maybe Phoenix can just carry me-

Nath, enjoying his Miraculous enhanced strength: :mechanical_arm:

Stardust: smirks what, you don't want to ride my staff?

Viperion: muttering to himself Not if I wont be able to walk after

Phoenix: Sounds like karma to me

Sinnamon Troll💖05/14/2020

updated the rating

Sinnamon Troll💖05/16/2020

I low key don't want Alya to become Rena in this, because then she might stop chasing the heroes to "prove" they exist if she's in on the secret

She drags the class out to a corn field that has some fight damage still\crop circles and is like OKAY EVERYONE SPREAD OUT AND LOOK FOR CLUES!

Marinette: Wow Alya, how did you get permission for us all to come out here?

Alya: What do you mean/

Nathaniel: cop senses, honed by living in poverty his entire life, tingling This is private property and we're gonna bail right now

frantically dragging Marc along, who is more than happy to get out of that boring corn hell

Marinette: calling after them Guys! You don't have a car! How are you getting home?

Nathaniel, already half way down the road: NOT IN A POLICE CRUISER!

Juleka bailed with them and they called Luka for a pickup once he got off work.

Everyone else did in fact get arrested for trespassing. Anyone not white spent the night in holding.

but ew racism

Later that night.....

Nathaniel: staring at the ceiling, hard in thought After how many times do you think it stops being friend sex and just becomes gay sex?

Marc, on one of his sides completely naked: Gee, I don't know. I think Luka should answer this one. deadpan

Luka, on his other side and also completely naked: panicking um, it uh...it doesn't count if you're still wearing your socks!

Nathaniel: Wow Luka, I'm so glad we have you around for this. You know so much. genuine

Luka, laughing nervously as Marc gives him the Flat Stare of Unamusement

Sinnamon Troll💖05/16/2020

I honestly don't know which is funnier

Nath knowing full well what is going on, but messing with them

or actually not knowing anything

Sinnamon Troll💖05/16/2020

I went back to the start to read again and I forgot Evilustrator just straight up murdered his entire family at one point

Sinnamon Troll💖05/16/2020

I heard a joke and I think it applies here

A man goes into a psychiatrist's office and says "Doctor you've got to help me, my boyfriend thinks he's a chicken!" (original said brother)

And the Doctor says "Well why didn't you bring him here?"

And the man says "Well, I need the eggs..."

some roosters will "help" hen's make nests (which basically means they try, and the hen goes in behind him and fixes it) and it's really cute to imagine Nath making a bunch of nests around the park where ever the basically wild free range chickens decide to hang out

If anyone catches him he claims it's an art project

Hen's don't need a rooster to lay eggs, so I would say the trailer park chickens are all hens so they don't get over run with chickens (assuming they're for eggs only and not also meat)

The "owner" gets pretty confused of why their hens are all suddenly laying more eggs than normal

Nathaniel, with like 6 chickens on his lap: Chicks love me

Sinnamon Troll💖05/17/2020

Luka shows up one day, wearing a bright orange shirt and a smug grin.

Someone around the park: Oi! You going hunting boy?

Luka: You could say that

Stardust\Marc finds his shepherd's crook very useful out in the field because the longer they have their miraculous, the more he needs to use it to drag Phoenix\Nathaniel away from random shiny things

Phoenix, staring entranced at some random trash that is catching the sunlight instead of fighting the current akuma

Sinnamon Troll💖05/18/2020

Nath comes out from doing his chores to see Marc lounging in one of the outside chairs, with a sunhat, sunglasses, and a drink in hand looking quite content

Nath: What 'cha doing?

Marc: Observing the local wild life.

Nath follows his gaze to see Kim a few trailers down, outside in nothing but his swimming outfit doing some exercises

Nath:....I just got this really weird urge to murder Kim. Came completely out of nowhere

Marc: drags him into a chair sit down, shut up, and enjoy the almost naked Himbo with great abs

Sinnamon Troll💖05/18/2020

found this on facebook

"You can block me on Facebook, but you can’t block me from smoking an entire gram of DMT and astral projecting myself into your mind as the spirit of a small sad goat and haunting you for doing me wrong."

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/18/2020

wut

Marc Gets Grounded  
By his sister, because even divorced and home every night his mom is kinda neglectful  
Sinnamon Troll💖05/20/2020  
Marc, who knows his sister is several hundred miles away and cannot enforce his grounding  
Marc: I'm getting spitroasted tonight out of pure spite

Nath @ Marc


	5. Chapter 5

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Blemir comes to visit for the holidays

Blemir: Which one of you is "Luka"?

Luka: That's me. Hello?

Blemir: pulls a glock out of her purse and goodbye

Marc At Blemir: Oh my god you ALWAYS DO THIS!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

HFJRJRKRK

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Their mom: The kids get along so well 8)

Blemir: I'm not going to kill him, I'm just going to shoot his dick off

Marc: No! I need that!

Luka: I need that!!

Nathaniel: confused Why is she only mad at Luka?

Blemir: Bottoms are not a threat

Nathaniel:....I'm offended???

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Blemir: Nathaniel can live because he looks very polite

Marc's mom, watching the chaos: You're going about this all wrong dear, Marc is the one who keeps being a slut and bragging about it. Shoot him instead

Marc: MOM?!

Blemir: Okay first of all you may be right, but second oh my god this is why I stayed with dad...

Marc, Blemir, and his mom arguing with eachother as Luka grabs Nathaniel and slowly escapes

Nath: Wow, and I thought my family was messed up

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

This whole thing implies Marc's mom 100% knows what her son gets up to and doesn't care

Actually she thrives on the second hand drama

Since in the other au's she and her husband are a movie producer team, maybe in this one she's a washed up starlet that never really got anywhere

Blemir has an entire shelf of beauty pageant awards from being forced into them

Marc has a few from when he was less than ten and his mom dressed him up like a girl to win prize money

Until the judges found out he was a boy and they were banned for life from the pageantry

Marc's mom approves of Luka and is always encouraging to "do something with his music"

She tolerates Nathaniel on the grounds of "Well he's handsome enough to land a minor role"

She's the type of mom that goes rabid and forces her kids to apply to every school play\drama club

She also encourages Marc seeing two men at once because "Scandel sells"

Marc just wants to be a writer and live in peace, but his mom is dead set on making him an actor since she "failed" with Blemir (who is in college for somethine sensible like...idk accounting)

Luka and Nath didn't know any of this until Blem showed up to visit, because Marc really doesn't like to talk about it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

Oh ouch

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Luka has a moment when he goes up to Anaraka like "Thank you for actually caring about me"

because his (boy)friend's families are all so messed up

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

Appreciating Family Members that's the good shit

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

The good shit

Marc sneaks out at night (which normally he can just walk out but Blem is determined to cock block him 'for his own good') to go be with Luka and Nath and is like "I am so stressed right now, I need my daily dose of Vitamin D"

Nathaniel: You take a vitamin supplement?

Marc: I have no idea how you can be so smart and so stupid at the same time

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

Marc is attracted to dumbasses pass it on

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Luka: So sex is like, a coping method for you for your crazy family. Is that...healthy??

Marc: Do you care? Get naked.

Luka: Of course we care-

Luka connects the dots and comes to the conclusion that A. This is not new behavior for Marc\he did this before they moved to the trailer park and B. He's actually really not used to his partners caring about him

Luka: Welp, looks like I'm kidnapping another boy from his shitty familiy

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

Luka: I get my boyfriends by kidnapping them!

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

So he's a dragon

dang he got the wrong miraculous this entire time

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/24/2020

Hero Group chat

Luka: If wielders start gaining their miraculous' animal's traits, aren't I technically supposed to be the dragon

Ladybug: It is 3 am go to sleep 

Chat: What tf are you taking

Luka: It's not what, it's who

Chat: wha-

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Marinette, who knows who Viperion is and some things about his life: We don't need to hear about your love life Viperion

Since we lowkey decided not to give Alya the Fox so she would keep "cryptid chasing" the heroes, Viperion, Phoenix, and Stardust are the annoying couple

That are always flirting

fun fact but neither chickens nor snakes have a gag reflex

Akuma, ranting about their plan

Stardust: Sorry, that's just a little too hard to swallow

Phoenix: Maybe for you

Viperion: fist bump

Ladybug: under her breath oh my god I made a mistake-

oh but here's a cute scenario

Some high schools have "volunteer" (read: Mandatory at some point) hours you have to fill and chaperoning kindergarteners on a field trip fits that bill

Marc and Nathaniel sign up on a day they take the kids to the zoo, and in the petting zoo area with all the goats Marc just gets SWARMED

and buried under a pile of baby goats

the zoo staff has to rescue him because the goats will not let him up

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/24/2020

Goats: one of us. one of us. one of us.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Ostriches are moody to being with, but when they go past the exhibit one tries to pick a fight with Nathaniel

It almost works, but Marc holds Nath back

oh no I just remember this is HORSE country and horses cannot stand snakes

but Luka also helps out doing odd jobs as a ranch hand

Horses used to be cool with him and now they all want to stomp him to death

maybe he can get a side job wrangling snakes

like, in animal control

He's really good at it

His first job during the "lets see if we want to hire this guy period" there's rattlesnake or something under someone's house and Luka just walks up and reachs out a hand

Luka: Hey buddy it's time to go

and the snake is like oh? Magic snake friend? Ok

He gets hired on the spot

We could make this even more fucky if like, after a while you could communicate with your animal type

Luka has had his miraculous longer than the other two so it happens to him first

He finds out that most snakes are pretty chill and just want to vibe and be left alone

Nathaniel discovers that almost the entirety of a chicken's vocabulary is swear words

There are no goats around the park, so Marc goes back to the zoo out of curiosity to see what they have to say

He returns looking haunted and refuses to divulge what they told him

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/24/2020

Goats are weird

Sinnamon Troll💖05/24/2020

Goats know only terror and violence

(and possibly the secrets of the universe)

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

It got to be 100f here yesterday, and I know that's pretty normal for texas but Marc is from farther north (maybe he even lived in a different state?) and he is d y i n g from th heat

Nathand Luka try to kiss him or just say hello and he's l;ike

Marc: Touch me and you loose your balls

Nath is like "ok man, let us know when you're done needing space 8)" but Luka knows Marc tends to get cranky if he goes without sex for too long (mostly because he's stressed as hell by his family + life) and drags him into a nice cold shower

Later, Marc wrestles Luka to the ground, yanks his pants down, and puts a sticker on his balls that read "property of Marc Anciel"

Marc: I told you if you touched me you would lose your balls. No exceptions.

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

It's not the heat that gets you, it's the humidity. I can confirm that 80-85F weather in Connecticut is worse than 90-100 in North Carolina just because of the difference in humidity.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

furious nodding

I lived in Georgia for two years. The heat was fine

Michigan? It's like living in a sauna

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

so it's plausible that Marc is used to a worse summer than he experiences in Texas.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

...you have a valid point

So this would be the opposite

Nath and Luka being like ugh it's hot

and Marc being like You Do Not Know True Suffering

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Nath and Luka lazing about in the shade on a couch that's outside for some reason.

Nath: It's too hot

Marc: What do you mean, this feels like it's 80 outside?

Luka: Marc. It's 95F out.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Chloe, as an event\fundraiser\idk has a pool party for the class

You can bring a plus one, and Nath brings Marc and Juleka brings Luka (since Rose is in the class and has her own invite)

They play that game where someone sits on another person's shoulders and they try to knock people over

Marinette is the clear winner, but Marc is the runner up

the rest of the class, to Marc: You obviously only won because your bottom is so strong

Marc: wheezing with laughter at Luka being called a bottom

He's insufferable about it from then on, "bottom" is Luka's new nick name when Marc wants to tease him

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Marc, inbetweed fits of laughter: You think he's a bottom? Wait til you see him in a speedo.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

They meant bottom for the pool fight thing, but the Gays hear things differently

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Luka, walking by: They don't make any that fit. I tried.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Nathaniel: nodding absently

Marc: Wait you got to see that and I didn't?1

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Nath: He got stuck at one point and needed an extra set of hands to free him

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Marc: jealous noises

Everyone else, who doesn't know they're together: ????

The law states that if luka has a huge dick, Juleka now has huge boobs. It's equality. Big titty goth GF

Rose learns some form of Karate JUST to beat up pervs who harass HER girlfriend

Marc, Rose, and Marinette in the "looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you" squad

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Chloe makes fun of Juleka for maturing early

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

? they're like 17 in this

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

shh. Chloe's self-conscious about her itty bitty titties

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

unless this was years ago

which is valid

Girls can be mean for no godamnd reason

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

meanwhile Juleka bitches about the strain on her back.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Like I saw an episode of south park once where all the girls were like "hey baby girl love you!" one moment, and then talking shit behind that same girl's back the next moment. That is sadly real life and it baffles me

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

and the trouble of finding bra's that:

>fit

>are comfortable

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

AFFORDABLE

Like HOLY SHIT

Okay so if you got the Big Titties they wear out your bras faster.

So you need to buy them more often

But legit the average range for a good bra on the low end of the scale is $40

the better ones are $60+

For ONE

Also the bigger your tits the less cute bras there are

once you getinto D teritory your options are all skin tones

unless you want to pay $100+ for a custom order

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

I did date women before discovering I was gay, and both of them had big tits (wasn't looking for that. Just happened that way) so I've heard the bitching about bras.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

There is a lot to bitch about

Like, maybe a bitch would like some glitter? Can A bitch get a titty sling in purple? This is discrimination

Plus like, even if they fit in the store, you don't know what is and is not a good bra until you've worn them for a week or two

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

My last GF, Ariana, basically idolized plus-size models. Ariana hersef was well beyond a DD.

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Nice

I could go on another rant about THAT portion of the industry, but how about Marc knowing way too much about this topic because his mom keeps looking for ways to make money off him in beauty pagents

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

lol

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

once he got found out in the junior division and banned, his mom is like "Well there's always drag shows"

Which are a bit harder to find in Texas one would think, but she's tenacious

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

Marc: You do know there are beauty pageants for men, right?

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

His mom, living voraciously through him: Shhhhh honey the female ones pay better

hmm do they? I actually don't know

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

They have most beautiful men pageants. They guys are usually hot enough to be/are models, so they're all probably more masculine looking than Marc will ever be

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

rip

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Nath and Luka come over to see where Marc is\ Rescue him from his mom and find them doing a costume test

Luka and Nathaniel, both Bisexuals: :eyes:

Marc: Sleep with one eye open you honry fucks hisses

Luka and Nath: We mean uh, we're here to save you

Marc doesn't mind wearing "female" clothes. He hates that he's being forced into the pageantry life which is very stressful and highly competitive filled with people who will do what ever they can to knock out the competition

He hates that his mom uses him as an object to make money instead of asking what he wants

aw I made it sad

Marc is feeling really emasculated, so Luka is a good boyfriend and lets him top once

it's the little gestures that matter

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

having dealt with emasculation, that's not gonna help much

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

What would help?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

finding something he can always point to to assert his masculinity over other 'better' guys. For me, I'm 5'7, which is short for a guy. I dealt with it by realizing I fit perfectly in all the fast small sports cars

Once you get over 5'10 , which is just under the average, you start having trouble fitting in them

sports cars are not made for tall people

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Hmmmm they could take him hunting? Though I don't know if he would want to do that or not

His mom was a failed starlet so she made him learn a wide variety of skills to make him more "employable" so he def is a black belt in SOMETHING

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

some idiot messes with him at school, and he mops the floor with them

the bullies go cry to the teachers, as all bullies do when they lose, and Marc just sits there looking innocent like "why madam why would you believe a boy who wears makeup could beat up half the foot ball team. They're obviously lying for some reason??"

The bullies are like "just wait until we're not at school"

Shadow, King of Admin05/27/2020

Marc, laughs in knife

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

and drive out to the trailer park with guns they took from their parents because holy shit people are bad at locking them up

Shadow, King of Admin05/27/2020

Oh right, this is America

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

but at this point- lol yeah

REDNECK america

Every house hold has at LEAST like two to five different guns

expecially in the more rural areas

My grandfather has so many his two large gun safes are full so he's been just leaving them out since he lives alone way out in the contry

plus he's ALWAYS got his carry with him

most of them are hunting rifles because he hunts (though I don't think he went this year)

but anyway these boys show up in the evening power and testosterone high, hollering and firing into the air, making a lot of noise

and Marc, Nath, and Luka are like Well this is a godamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation

but since they hear them coming they all like, transform and I'm pretty sure miraculous heroes are bullet proof from the "nearly invulnerable" comment so the three of them easily defeat the hooligans and tie them up

then go hide and detransform for when the police show up

Sinnamon Troll💖05/27/2020

Hmm it WAS half the football team

So they go on and on about "demons" and maybe some people in the park got Phoenix, Viperion, and Stardust on camera

so now there's a witch hunt going on

Ladybug: in the chat Guys what the hell

Stardust: What were we suppsoed to do? Let them shoot people?

Viperion: No regrets LB. There are a lot of people that live in that park who could have gotten hurt or worse

Ladybug: You're right and I hate it

Do the heroes finally become public???

The Youngest(TM) (UN)05/27/2020

Dun dun

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)05/27/2020

  1. still hidden



moar cryptid rumors

Sinnamon Troll💖05/28/2020

Everyone thinks the entire park is on meth

The cops do a search and discover it's only half


	6. Chapter 6

Sinnamon Troll💖06/01/2020

Small towns, news travels fast, so anyone who lives at the park now has to deal with the other kids at school being like "hey are you on meth"

Marc progressively gets more and more tired of people being dicks about everything from how feminine he looks, to picking on Nathaniel, to being dicks because he lives in a trailer park and is in the office nearly every day for punching out guys twice his size

Since it's a backwards redneck town, he never gets in trouble because the staff is baffled how this lithe boy is winning fights against MUCH bigger boys so they think they're letting him win and basically be like "stop doing this" and let him go

Meanwhile half the foot ball team is terrified of him, and a the wrestling team keeps trying to recruit him

Marc refuses because as much as he would like to have that much physical contact with big, muscly men the uniform is atrocious

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/01/2020

Marc instead tries to get Luka to join the wresling team just so he can see Luka in a skintight singlet

Sinnamon Troll💖06/01/2020

Luka's graduated he doesn't qualify

That doesn't mean Marc wont "borrow" a uniform

Luka begrudgingly agrees only if Marc will wear a skirt for him

Marc agrees, but only if Nathaniel wears one too (hje was going to make Luka wear one but Luka said he had to choose between that and the uniform)

Nathaniel actually likes it. There's so much more room down south with a skirt

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/01/2020

Does Luka have a band in this one? Because if so, I vote he has a van instead of a truck, so he can take his gear to gigs without worrying about people stealing expensive instruments and sound equipment

Sinnamon Troll💖06/01/2020

hmmmm I don't think so, things like that are expensive and they're barely making rent between him and Anarake

he has a acustic guitar he saved up for though

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/01/2020

Luka's dream is to start a rock band and go on tour, but he knows it's just not gonna happen unless he can escape this hellhole

Sinnamon Troll💖06/01/2020

nods

That's why he takes so many jobs, he's trying to save up money

but his bank account is pretty much always at zero because being poor is just a series of financial emergencies

grunts in sympathy

He saves a LOT of money on his old truck because Nathaniel will fix it for free

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/01/2020

At one point he saved up $200, but then Juleka's boobs came in and he had a growth spurt, so they both needed new clothes.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/01/2020

the bras alone would eat into that, even if they got used ones (which, probably) but clothes wise $100 would be enough to replaces their wardrobes

Salvation army has regular 99cent sales, and they used to do 69cent sundays

where all clothes are those prices

You can get some nice stuff from them if you look hard

like, even brand name shit

legit saw a gucci purse at a good will once

now SHOES are where it's hard to find good deals

even at thrift stores anything that fits and is durable is going to be like $20

and used shoes have a shorter shelf life, so in the long run you save money buying new if you can afford it

Expecially if you're like me and walk holes into them within a year

and work complains that your ducktaped shoes "look bad" and force you replace them like bitch!! I'm getting my job done fuck off

grumbles

anyway I got off topic

Luka low key likes how Nath smells when he comes home from a long day at the garage, like oil and metal

Sinnamon Troll💖06/02/2020

https://sakumaw.tumblr.com/post/177002218066/a-very-talented-trio-maybe-ill-draw-them

Essentially this au

Sinnamon Troll💖06/03/2020

gets reminded El Chupacabra is real

Marc now has an irrational fear of vampires

The fear is not irrational because vampires are not real

Rather it is because they hate sunlight and Texas is pretty much only that so there are none in texas

Of course, Marc doesn't know either of these facts

Male goats also tend to respond to being afraid by violently headbutting anything close to them

Luka thinks he's going to tease marc about being scared of vampires and sneaks up behind him and bites his neck

next thing he knows he's laying on the floor wheezing in pain because Marc fliping him over his shoulder

Nath: kneels down and pats Luka on the head this is why I'm the favorite

Luka: Are wheeze not!

Marc: He is right now you little shit

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/03/2020

Nath: I wouldn't call him a little shit. He's taller than us in multiple ways

Sinnamon Troll💖06/03/2020

Marc: I'm referring to his common sense

Luka: Hey! I have tons of common sense!

Nath: Aparently not enough to stop trying to mess with a guy that has a black belt

Marc: still angry You only top because I let you. Don't forget that. stomps off

Luka: Fuck, he's so hot when he's mad

Nath: He's cuter when he's smiling. You're just mean

ah yes, the two boyfriend dynamics

I tease you all the time because I like seeing you riled up, and I live to see your smile

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/03/2020

Marc tries to top during their next sexual endeavors. It does not go well.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/03/2020

I'ma fight you on this

Luka might be bigger, but Marc could beat his ass if he really wanted to

He just usually doesn't because he likes that dick

Meanwhile, Nathaniel is over in the corner minding his own busniess happily being a bottom

Sinnamon Troll💖06/04/2020

so I heard this one comedy skit a looong time ago, and this one line always stuck with me

"I'm going to make you harder than a left turn at the mall"

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/04/2020

I don't get it

Sinnamon Troll💖06/04/2020

turning left (cutting across trafic) to get into a mall is hard because of all the cars

So the resulting boner from what ever action is coming will be harder than that

Sinnamon Troll💖06/04/2020

https://six-colors.tumblr.com/post/185166961311

Tumblr

I found this again and is this AU to a T

hahahahah oh man there's a nother one

https://six-colors.tumblr.com/post/185024945406/i-got-bored

Tumblr

Nath apparently has a belly button piercing now

Sinnamon Troll💖06/06/2020

I was looking up how goats go about courtship for anyting cute\funny and uh

https://www.tennesseemeatgoats.com/articles2/behavior.html

Behavioral and Mating Habits of Goats

Damn, goats are freaks

They also aparently get "inspiried" to mate more if there are other males around

so what I'm reading here is it's a good thing Marc has two boyfriends because after he gets his miraculous they ain't gonna get a break

Goats are also casual lesbians because if there is no male around the most dominant female will be like "welp guess it's my job now"

Marc: reading up about goat habbits because he sees how Luka got with the snake and wants to know if there's anything he should be prepared for

Marc: Guys I have good news and bad news

Nath: doing the same but for rooster stuff Hmmm???

Marc: So aparently I'm going to get really horny

Luka: What's the bad news

Marc: I'm going to get really, really horny

Luka: That doesn't sound too bad

Two months later, in the team chat

Stardust: You ever just low key want to get rawed by the entire wrestling team at once

Viperion: Excuse me?

Phoenix: Excuse me?

Stardust: Excuse ME. Don't bitch, do something about it-

Ladybug: Stardust please don't talk about sex here-

no reply

ChatNoir: Hahahahah oh noooo

Ladybug: I have....some regrets

KingMonkey: Ok so like, I just saw Stardust chase Phoenix and Viperion out of my trailer park, is there an akuma or???

several people are typing

Sinnamon Troll💖06/06/2020

Luka is Tired ok

Nath has worms on the brain and Marc also has "worms" on the brain

Nath: has developed a weird habit of just wandering into the road without looking

Luka has to keep one hand on his back so he can grab him if Nath starts to wander into the street

Nath: Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out we have no idea either

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/06/2020

"Why did the chicken cross the road" is a suicide joke Oh no-

Sinnamon Troll💖06/06/2020

wha-

Chickens are actually REALLy good at staying out of the road actually

you don't need fences because they stay away from the road on their own

The joke here was Nath was being airheaded like a chicken and not paying attention where he was going

or he say something shiny and was like owo?>

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/06/2020

hubcap on a car across the street

Sinnamon Troll💖06/06/2020

ok but Nath grew up pretty much eating and breathing cars because his dad owns a repair shop

so seeing a rare car in good condition is DEF enough to pull him across the street to be like OOOOHHHH

and excitedly chatter with the owner about...car shit

We're not that far from the Gilmore Car Museum, and in the summer they have (weekly? they're decently common) car shows where car enthusiests show up to like, do car people...stuff

We also have a car show once a year in the summer where they come to our one street for a small "festival" (my village doesn't even have a stoplight) (and it IS legally classfied as a village lol)

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/06/2020

a rare car in good condition would pull ME across the street to gawk at it

Sinnamon Troll💖06/06/2020

Nath is the kid who goes to these things every time they have them

So you're saying I should take some pictures when\if the car show this year

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/06/2020

I've actually done that before. 

>spot rare car

>gawk at rare car

>word vomit excitedly with owner

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/08/2020

So, there's this restaurant in Dallas, Texas called "Tallywackers", which is basically the male version of Hooters (Tallywacker is apparently a southern slang word for a dick). Luka finds out and takes Nath and Marc there on a date once, but during the entire thing, Luka somehow shenanigans his way into a job there.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/08/2020

sadfjhsfdsdf

I bet he gets a lot of tips

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/08/2020

apparently it went out of business but not in this AU. lol.

https://www.instagram.com/tallywackersofficial/

The official instagram for the place is still up

Sinnamon Troll💖06/08/2020

Luka wont let anyone else drive his truck

Not because he's posessive, but because both Marc and Nathaniel are terrifyingly bad drivers

He's not sure how they passed their road tests

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

So I kind of like this version of Marc's mom if only as an antagonist

She's a failed starlet but still has connections in "the big times" because she did get at least one big role, she just never got anything after that

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/09/2020

I like to think she's kind of like Kate Winslet. Kate Winslet's first big role was in the 1997 movie "Titanic" which should have launched her to stardom. Then she kept going for indie movies and low budget shit, so few people know her name outside Titanic.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

She somehow gets some big, up and coming producer to come over for tea (I'd say the guy is in his early 20's) and he sees Marc and is like "Oh my god, I am so inspired. A true diamond in the rough, an underdog story of a beautiful small town boy rising up from poverty. People will love this!"

Marc's mom is like Yes!! Take him!!

And Marc is like uhhhhh

The guy is kind of a creep though. Scratch that, total creep

He's like "I want you to star in my new movie. Here's how much I'll pay you REALLY large amount"

MArc's mom doesn't let him say no

but partway into filimg the guy pulls that "you want to be a star don't you darling?" shit and Marc is like nope bye

which causes drama with his mom AND some legal trouble because he signed a contract, so he has to go back and finish filming but the guy makes his life miserable because Marc keeps refusing to sleep with him

Marc: Guys, is it ethical to use your miraculous to murder someone

Nathanial and Luka: yes

the kwami: No!!

I want to say that he can't murder the guy using the miraculous because that would corrupt it and cause problems

But he can TOTALLY do the hidden camera thing and threaten the guy to back off

because Marc is 17 but he is still technially a minor

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/09/2020

Marc posts about his #metoo experience on Twitter

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

which leads to a whole bunch of "shut up or else" drama

where Marc is like do it. Do it pussy, cancle my contract

and Marc's mom is screaming at him like don't fucking RUIN this for us (me) that is a LOT of money!

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/09/2020

Disney offers to buy out his contract and he'll never have to work with the sleezeball if he'll do a sitcom for them

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

hmmm disney though

the root of the problem is Marc doesn't want to be an actor

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/09/2020

Marc considers it, because Disney is evil, but they're also Disney. He agrees on the added stipulation that Nath and Luka join. The idea is he can do a bit of acting then swear off it and go into writing, which actually does happen a lot in Hollywood.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

Disney is like :eyes: at Luka because they can DEFINITELY hook a bunch of pre\teen girls with that

not sure about Nath though. I think he's a little cutie but I'm biased

they hire him in because disney is dipping their toes into the "gay" water to see if they can profit off it

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/09/2020

Luka signs on because he'd make enough money to get out of the hellhole.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

Nath's family is against it until they also see how much he would be making

There's one problem though: They can't leave the town because Ladybug needs them

Sinnamon Troll💖06/09/2020

These mad lads, conspiring to make bank AND stay in town, pitch a "small, rural town drama about life in the deep south" and disney is like ok yeah that sounds great, plus we can get rep by how we let you stay in school

the Belle's are SUPER excited

the whole town is really

The more disney looks into the town history, the more they hear about the "cryptids" that pop up

and are like "ok so what about a tc series about a small town boy who hunts aliens"

Marc sarcastically says his code name should be Ladybug and the team is like Nice! Gay stuff! we can sell taht

Stardust: Ladybug I am so sorry I didn't think they would so it-

Ladybug: What did you do

Stardust: So uh, turns out the main character of that TV show they're going to be filimg here will have an alterego called "Ladybug"....

Several people are typing

The magic of people wanting money and shit turns this redneck backwards town into a progressive, pro LGBT one over night once they find out the show will be lgbt

actually this is getting out of hand and away from the "trailer park trash" vibes of the au so I want to say Bunnix shows up and is like "you guys gotta get the show cancled or all your identites will be revealed and people die"

Sinnamon Troll💖06/13/2020

so since I decided that the "suddenly famous" thing never happened we're back to the status quo

The heroes low key know about it though and Marc uses it as an excuse to be dramatic

"You can't treat me like this, I'm a star"

"You sound like your mom"

Marc: offended gasp

Luka: hands Marca drink while they're all out chilling in the yard And is there anything else I can get the diva of the day? he asks sarcastically

Marc: pulls his shades down to give Luka a once over well, I'm sure there's something else you could give me...

Nath: Actually could you get me another thing of water? The girls kinda took mine....gestures to the two chickens on his lap

The other hens are just aimlessly wandering around his chair. There were some epic fights until the hens bullied all the snakes out of the park


	7. Chapter 7

Marc can't stand snakes, but he loves "cute little froggies"  
Nath's rooster brain: I will bring you frogs  
he disappears for like an entire afternoon and comes home in the evening covered in mud with a who box full of angry frogs  
Marc posts to like, his facebook or what ever

Marc: I love this boy but what am I going to do with all of these  
Luka: Frog legs  
Marc: NO  
Sinnamon Troll💖06/15/2020  
Rose gets Juleka a portable black light because A. Black light paint and shit is the BEST and B. Goth aesthetic  
Luka comes home to find the living room couch on the lawn  
Juleka: It's contaminated. Also I'm telling mom.  
Juleka: I can't believe I've sat on that couch. I have to set myself on fire now, later.  
Luka: Wait-  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/15/2020  
lmfao  
A_Human06/15/2020  
she would do that tho  
Sinnamon Troll💖06/16/2020  
Anarka: Why is our couch on fire  
Juleka: I got a black light and used to to expose Luka's lies  
Anaraka: Say no more  
Sinnamon Troll💖06/16/2020

Marc gets this on a shirt

A_Human06/16/2020

yes

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

A friend posted this on facebook

Mfs get a gun and think they John wick when they really cheddar bob from 8 mile:neutral_face:

Because it is relevant to this au, since it takes place in TEXAS, Marc swears he's going to lose his mind if he sees one more confederate flag

Marc: If I get ONE. MORE. passive aggressive comment from some orange faced bitch with dollar store sunglasses and her beer gut man in a confederate flag wife beater next to her while I'm just trying to buy groceriers at walmart, you two better have a bail fund ready because I am going to JAIL

Luka: Marc-

Marc: throws his hands up and stomps back and forth, ranting I'll break off every one of her SHITTY PLASTIC NAILS and SHOVE THEM UP HER ASS-

Marc: I'll take her DISGUSTING ice starbucks and fucking waterboard her with it!!

Marc: I will take her faux name brand purse and HANG HER WITH IT!!!Q

Marc: continues this without stopping to breath

Luka: What in the world did someone SAY to him???

Nath: So we were in line at walmart, and the lady behind us muttered about how the "liberals" were turning all our boys into F**s

Luka: Oh

Nath: I literally had to drag him out

Luka: Why did you stop him?

Nath: Do you know how much bail is in this county?! We'd never get him back!!

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

Cash Bail: It's legal if the rich do it, but fuck you if you're poor

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

Mm

The boys convince him subtle revenge is better

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

Nath, whispering to Marc: Watch this.

Nath: M'am. I noticed you have a MAGA hat. Can you please tell me which decade you'd like us to return to?

Woman: splutters unable to form a coherent response

It's better to twist their own words to embarress them/expose their racism than get actual physical revenge

I just couldn't think of a better convo

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

The confederate flag is the loser flag

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

The confederate flag is the flag of literal traitors who tried to destroy America.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

Confederate akuma

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

Nathaniel and Marc get into a fight about something

Marc: Why don't you just eat my entire ass!

Nathaniel: I would, but I've been trying to eat less FAT!

Marc: enraged screeching

Meanwhile, their kwami haven't had this much entertainment in centuries

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

So Luka comes home to Marc and Nathaniel studiously ignoring eachother on his couch

Luka: If you guys are so mad at eachother why didn't you just go home

Nath: How can you even ask that

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

After the incident where Juleka burns their couch, Luka starts avoiding Nath and Marc, thinking they only seem to want him for his dick.

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

why you gotta keep defaulting to that

Nyx06/18/2020

Because angst!

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

how else we gonna get Luka angst going? Most plot involving Luka seems to be them jumping his bones for something

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

and who started that

Luka can have angst that doesn't come from his well endowed nethers

like uhhhh

well they're poor in this au so bills

he doesn't have any friends his age because they all think he's "weird"

and being gay took the few friends he had left (he's bi but dating two boys)

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

his only interactions with his boyfriends is basically them jumping him for sex

Pitch Black Bitch {Pyro}06/18/2020

Wait boyfriends?

I'm lost

Somebody update me

Oh shit I have no name

Shadow, King of Admin06/18/2020

I DID IT

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

go to the pins and start from the beginning

Shadow, King of Admin06/18/2020

I FOUND THE CODE!

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/18/2020

Luka, Marc, and Nath are in a relationship with each other

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

all tabs have a link to their start

Pitch Black Bitch {Pyro}06/18/2020

Oh that's fun

Sinnamon Troll💖06/18/2020

Marc's defense to "you only want me for my dick" would probably be something like

Marc: Have you seen me? I could have any man I wanted. If it was just about sex the list would be a LOT longer than just you two

(Marc is low key a diva in this AU because of his mom)

Nath just looks like a kicked puppy when Luka suggests that

Nath and Luka have never had a serious fight in their lives

Marc and Luka squabble over petty things sometimes, but it's not serious

Marc likes to tease Nathaniel, but they usually don't fight

Luka also likes to tease Marc but Marc gets mad about it

Sinnamon Troll💖06/20/2020

skjdfsdkj I just read an Incorrect Quote that fits here

Luka: Do you remember what Marc told me earlier?

Nath: That it doesn't count as stripping if no one pays you?

Luka: He did say that, but no

Sinnamon Troll💖06/20/2020

it occurs to me that Marc is the only one of the main three that doesn't have a job

I mean, his mom forces him into drag pagents, but he doesn't have any steady income

Shadow, King of Admin06/20/2020

Marc's a super baby

We've been through this before

Sinnamon Troll💖06/20/2020

.....Sugar* ?

Shadow, King of Admin06/20/2020

Autocorrect is a cruel thing

Sinnamon Troll💖06/20/2020

lol

Shadow, King of Admin06/20/2020

I honestly didn't even notice

Sinnamon Troll💖06/20/2020

ok can you imagine him getting a server job at the local truck stop diner though?

He makes bank in tips, but dealing with horny truck drivers all the time is...taxing

A lifetime of acting classes is the only reason he's still employed

Anyone who has worked min wage knows that the Customer Service Personality is basically just emmy award winning acting anyway

He's sweet as pie on the clock and gets big tips, but if someone tries to approach him after work...well, they better hope there's witnesses because if there arn't he's going to beat the shit out of them

Truckers are either very nice and honorable, or the worst sleezebag pigs you have ever met. There is no inbetween

This goes for both the male AND female truckers, though there are way less female truckers

Marc is happy to chat with the nice ones, but the sleezebag "grab the server's butt and make disgusting innuendos" types get the cold shoulder

One tried to get him alone once. Luka picks him up from work since he actually has a car\truck. Beating up creepy old men who try to bad touch barely legal boys is a great date idea

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/20/2020

Best date idea I've ever heard

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)06/21/2020

Why not have Marc be... Marc during work hours? There's a diner where there entire gimmick is that the waitstaff insult you. You have to audition there to see if you can be mean enough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJpwF7Nc3dk

Sinnamon Troll💖06/21/2020

while that would be fun, that's an outlier in ONE place. Everywhere else you have to be nice to people

There IS another option though, if he gets fed up with minimum wage: Actual sugar baby

My roomate one semester did that. She made $3000 a month and all she had to do was talk to a lonely rich guys online or like go out to lunch with them when they were in town. No sex, no romantic relationship

she tried to get me to sign on but tbh I felt too guilty to take someone's money just to essentially be their friend


	8. Chapter 8

Sinnamon Troll💖06/23/2020

poor Nathaniel. He's got rooster brain

Sinnamon Troll💖06/24/2020

this version of Marc would 100% have no problem taking money from lonely rich guys though. He's totally a sugar baby

Then he turns around and uses his money to treat his boyfriends to nice things

Luka: sigh gonna have to get this part replaced on the truck, I wonder how much that will set us back...

Marc: I got you boo pulling out a wad of $100

Luka:....where did you get all that money

Marc: Oh? Didn't I tell you guys about my sugar daddies?

Luka: Your WHAT

Marc: Relax, it's not a sex thing. They're just lonely and will shell out money for cute people to talk to them sometimes

Sinnamon Troll💖06/24/2020

https://darkeecofreak.tumblr.com/post/621851811227238400

Marc in this au

watch the mirror lol

Although :thinking:

I changed my mind, this belongs in #akuma-city

this one is more in line with the sheer CRACK of this au though

Sinnamon Troll💖06/25/2020  
Luka and Nath are doing something, maybe trying to get a new couch into Luka's trailer, and Marc is just standing off to the side

Nathaniel: He's right though  
Luka: Don't enable him  
Sinnamon Troll💖06/25/2020  
I just realized Marc in this au is sort of Elle Woods (from Legally Blond)  
So pretty (and proud of it) that people dismiss him, but could actually fuck you up and is really smart  
Guess he's going to be a lawyer now  
ten years from now he's one of the top attorneys in the country, getting ready to go to his husband's opening night at his latest art gallery, and for later this week he's got back stage passes to go see his OTHER husband's rock show

Marc: You two have seen me without my makeup on. If we ever break up I will have to kill you

Nath: You can be so funny sometimes

Marc, who low key wasn't joking: :nail_care:

So because this is my stress au, Marc is used to living in the city and not in a fucking trailer that was slapped together with tin an spit

so if a mouse or something ever gets in he will dead ass drag one of his boyfriend's over in the middle of the night like GET IT!!

When he spends the night at Luka's, his mom will text him like "get one of your boys over here there's a snake in the kitchen"

A possum crashes down from the ceiling in his closet while he's getting dressed for the day, and the entire park hears him screaming

Marc: It was on my FACE sobbing

Nathaniel: Possums are ok, you'll be fine

Marc: IT WAS ON MY FACE-

which, same Marc. Same

To use a quote I saw once that I liked;

Luka: Come on, you're wearing your big hoops and this is not big hoop attitude

Marc: sniffles You're right

Sinnamon Troll💖06/27/2020

So since his mom is a failed starlet, and Marc had to learn his slutty behavior from SOMEONE....does his mom also have several boyfriends? Except instead of a healthy polyrealtionship she's cheating on all of them for money and drama

Sinnamon Troll💖06/27/2020

One of Marc's exes from The City track him down and show up at his house one day

like "baby I love you please come back"

and Marc is like "ugh, please leave"

Nath and Luka are both out at their jobs, but Nath's oldest brother (who is a big, buff dude) is home and Marc goes up to him and whispers "I'll give you $100 to pretend to be my boyfriend and scare this guy off"

big bro is like hell yeah $100 is $100

the bro Text's nath just to mess with him because older siblings are like that I guess "Stole your girlfriend"

Marc: You know I'm male right

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/27/2020

Nath: What the fuck did you do

Brother: ;)

Sinnamon Troll💖06/27/2020

Bro: Yeah but it's funny as hell to watch him freak out over it

When Luka and Nath are back

Bro: If you ever need a real man to take care of you again, call me :wink:

Luka: what the fuck was that about

Marc: sighs deeply and explains

Luka:....You have a crazy ex?

Marc: I have a lot of crazy exes. Hell, I didn't even date most of them

Nathaniel: Mom is right, city people are full of sin and debauchery

Marc: giving him a flat look Yeah, like none of that stuff eeeever happens around here

Nath: We're a good, Christian community!

Luka: Nathaniel, my dick was in your ass less than 12 hours ago. Pretty sure that's sin AND debauchery

Nath: flushing that doesn't count!

Marc: rolling his eyes because you had your socks on?

Nath: Yes!!

Marc: I'm stealing all your socks

Nath: why would you do that :cry: That means it 's gay

Marc:.....You are so fucking stupid and I don't know which one of you to blame for that

Luka: sweating in enabled the mindset

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Chat: They're right though bugga boo, we should all learn

Ladybug: internally screaming in has been taught her entire life not to defy authority

that's it. Thats why Fu chose them-

Adiren and Marinette are both SUPER follow the rules and respect authority people from their upbrinings-

He kneeew the bastard!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

D:

The writers: he's just a mysterious mentor-

fandom: toxic bastard man

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

jokes on him, unlike canon, the rest of the team is there to shout ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Viperion: I'll be your new mentor. I'm older so I basically fit everything we know about him

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

the only reason they all know he's the oldest is he doesn't have a timelimit

which, causes some mild concerns when it comes out he's dating Phoenix and Stardust, who DO have timelimits

Phoenix: We're 17!!

Queen Bee: yeah but like, how old is HE

Viperion: I'm only 18

Queen Bee: Sounds like lies :nail_care:

Stardust: Oof, remind me to never tell her about my last year in middle school

the ENTIRE chat

WHAT??!

Several People are typing

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Stardust: Ah yes, I have the tragic back story(TM) worship me

Phoenix: Drama queen

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Stardust: Petition to make me the main character because my backstory is better

I want to say Slut Marc rights ONLY for this au, since it takes place in America and American teens are Like That tbh

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Yeahhh

Ladybug, about to argue, before realizing she might reveal her identity: >://

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Rena isn't on the team because we need crazy blogger Alya to chase them so like....there's actually only two girls on the team Ladybug and Queen bee send help

Ladybug: Middle school? Oh no, Honey, I'm so sorry that happened to you?

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Ryuko and Chat (Sheltered rich kids) don't understand the message

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Stardust, desensitized to the fact that all this sex isn't normal due to his shitty mom encouraging it: Why are you sorry? I got an A

(forgot about Ryuko)

and right after that

Several people are typing

The gang thinks he's making this shit up to mess with them

Luka and Nath, taking him aside: YOU SLEPT WITH A TEACHER?!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Viperion and Phoenix, knowing his mom, knowing he probably isn't lying: :eye: :lips: :eye:

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Marc: How do you guys think I have passed PE class these past several years without participating???

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Luka and Nath lose their minds after that comment

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

nathaniel: We're graded on the final performance test, all you have to do is that one thing-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Fun story: a senior and teacher got caught sleeping together at my school because she left one of her used tampons in a textbook 

i,,, don't even know how it got there

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Marc: Well, I'm performing, just not on the same stage as the rest of you :wink:

Probably took it out for sec and forgot about it

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Okay but she put it in a textbook, closed it, and put it up???

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Luka: Who was it, I will KILL them

maybe? hoes be dumb

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Luka and Nath rn: Cocks gun

Dang :pensive: :pensive:

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Marc: I have no idea why you guys are so worked up over this

Luka: We know that and damnit we will protect you-

Luka: talking to Marc's mom Did you know he slept with a teacher to get better grades?

Marc's mom: Who do you think gave him the idea

Luka: calling CPS

Cps wont do shit because there's no proof of anything

Marc: LUKA!!! Stop it!! You're causing drama over nothing!!

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

I hear horror stories about CPS sometimes,,, scares me,,,

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Luka: You have left me no choice

Luka: Calling Blemir

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Dun dun

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Blemir, kicking down the door

Blemir: You told him to do WHAT?!

Except, same mom, so Blem probably had to deal with that too

she just never did it

so really Marc is the one in trouble here

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

"Marc why did you do it?!"

"Was I not supposed to?!"

Sinnamon Troll💖06/28/2020

Blemir: Oh my god, you are turning out JUST like mom!

Marc: You take that back!

Later, Luka tries talking to him again about "this is not how you get by in life stop being bad"

Marc: Oooo, what if I don't? are you going to spank me? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Luka: :angry:

The next day, Marc is limping and Nath is like Luka got you good last night huh (he wasn't there for some reason)

Marc: Not in the way you think. He spanked me. It was not hot-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/28/2020

Nathaniel: Imagine not being a masochist can't relate-


	9. Chapter 9

Marc is just a chatotic, OOC bastard in this au and I love him

Sinnamon Troll💖06/30/2020

Stardust: When your mans come home and take of their pants first thing :5778_TikTokDrool:

Ladybug: Why are you like this

Stardust: You gave me the goat. You don't get to complain

Viperion: Don't pin this on her, you were always like this-

Sinnamon Troll💖06/30/2020

Marcnath in this au:

Nath: I love you 100 heart emojis

Marc: I love you too, you adorable idiot like 200 heart emojis

LukaMarc in this au:

Marc: Bitch when I see you next it is ON SIGHT-

Luka: Lol just try it

LukaNath in this au:

Nath: Wow! You're so smart and cool. I;m so lucky to know you

Luka: Half the things i have told you are lies and I feel so guilty about it-

The Youngest(TM) (UN)06/30/2020

That's it that's the entire dynamic

Luka sends this to Marc

Marc sends this back  
JonKaGor Fan (Jade)07/01/2020  
lol  
Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

Marc sends this back: 

uka: It don't bite

Marc: YEAH IT DO-

Luka:.....no it don't, he doesn't even have teeth

Nath: minding his own business, reading a book or something Neither does your "snake" but it bites us all the time doesn't even look up, still reading

Nyx07/01/2020

Oh! Sassy Nathaniel, me likey.

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

Marc is cackling and Luka is stunned

Luka: I'll "bite" you right now you little shit-

Nath: You do ANYTHING that takes me away from this book and Marc wont have to whine about having to share because I'll chop your "Snake" in half

Marc: Damn, where's this side of you the rest of the time?

Nath: grumbling It's called self control, and it doesn't apply when assholes try to stop you from reading

which, same Nath. Same

Pitch Black Bitch {Pyro}07/01/2020

I agree with nath, don't disrupt a man's reading

The Youngest(TM) (UN)07/01/2020

Imagine reading actual books can't relate

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

eh, fanfiction counts

Pitch Black Bitch {Pyro}07/01/2020

No... it really doesn't

JonKaGor Fan (Jade)07/01/2020

i read actual books :slight_smile:

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

Yes it does. Tons of fanfiction is both longer and better written than actual books anyway

JonKaGor Fan (Jade)07/01/2020

rick riodan.

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

harry potter

JonKaGor Fan (Jade)07/01/2020

not a fan

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

like, the original books were ok but the fanfiction is next level

Marc and Nathaniel, both weebs and book nerds, having this conversation

While Luka just sits there with his guitar like "music is superior to literature"

Marc: You say that, then ask me to write your lazy ass song lyrics

JonKaGor Fan (Jade)07/01/2020

yes

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

The whole miraculous squad gets together for a group photo to send to Alya to troll her. It's the clearest picture she's ever had of the "cryptids" and is super excited about it

The picture is them crowded around some grafiti at 2am that reads "Fuck the police" doing various meme poses

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)07/01/2020

Alya's blog post is labeled "SUPERHEROES CAN MEME! PHOTO PROOF! NOT CLICKBAIT!"

Sinnamon Troll💖07/01/2020

it would be something like "Local Cryptids Seek to Abolish Law Enforcement"?

https://lady-darkstreak.tumblr.com/post/622488615450247168/babyanimalgifs-a-skier-encountering-a-highly

Luka sends this to Marc and says "You're the lemming"

Nathaniel: Why are you always trying to make him mad? One of these days he's going to snap and beat your ass

Luka: He's cute when he's mad ok-

Ladybug posts this to the group chat  
Ladybug: I was swinging by on patrol, and they made me deal with this....  
Sinnamon Troll💖07/03/2020  
so if they're in their senior year when all this starts, and it's several months before Nath and Marc even get their miraculous, it stands to reason that at this point they're graduating


	10. Chapter 10

Sinnamon Troll💖07/04/2020

coming in from memes, "Boys, My Butt, And Other National Disasters" is what Marc titles the memoir he's writing

Sinnamon Troll💖07/04/2020

So the class graduates highschool

Ladybug and Chat Noir low key panic because Hawkmoth is still a problem and what are they going to do if half their team leaves for college?!

Phoenix: Imagine being able to afford college and not having to work full time to support your family

Viperion: Wild

Stardust: Can't hear you guys over the $50 I just made

Viperion: $50 you made doing what

Stardust: :)))))

Viperion: $50 you made doing WHAT???

(He made it in tips at the diner he works at but he loves teasing Luka)

Phoenix: brb gotta save Stardust from Viperion-

Pegase: Are those three...ok?

Ladybug: Honestly I don't even know

Ryuko: They seem like very good friends

Chat, who has had to listen to LB on private rant about those three being more interested in making out with each other than fighting akumas, but the miraculous already bonded to them and it's too late to find someone else: Yeah, great friends

Sinnamon Troll💖07/04/2020

this is it, this is the Marc\Luka dynamic in this tab

Sinnamon Troll💖07/05/2020

At their graduation party, Marc takes Luka aside

Marc: Ok listen. We've officially graduated high school. We're adults now. It's time for you to stop lying to Nathaniel and tell him he's gay

Luka: Well actually I think he's bi....

Marc: Luka.

Luka: W-well....maybe I'll break it to him tonight.....

the next day

Marinette: So what did you get for your graduation?

Marc: Disrepected.

Marc: to Luka the only reason I put up with you at this point is because you let me stay at your house and the sex is amazing

Nathaniel: Wow what'd you do this time?

Luka: sweating as marc glares at him It's more like what I didn't do...

Sinnamon Troll💖07/05/2020

Marc refuses to be the one to tell Nath Luka has been lying to him, because Luka made this mess and Luka can clean it up. The coward.

Luka: What if he gets mad at me

MArc: I'M mad at you RIGHT NOW. Which is scarier?

Luka: Ok you have obviously never seen him seriously mad-

A_Human07/07/2020  
this is marc tho  
Sinnamon Troll💖07/07/2020  
A customer was rude to him and he couldn't be rude back because job  
Since this AU is post-high school now, Nath still works at his dad's garage but is looking for something else  
but he comes home smelling like hot metal and oil and Marc just buries his face in his chest and INHALES  
Luka comes home smelling like horses (or other animals because he works with animal control now) and Marc is like "If you touch me before you shower I will stab you"

Marc packs Nath a lunch, and Nath calls him up like "there's no fruit snacks today, did I do something to make you mad? Because I am so sorry-|

_[_ 1:29 AM _]_

Luka, who is home right now, over hearing the phone call: I never get fruit snacks in my lunch

_[_ 1:29 AM _]_

Marc: Nath is the favorite

_[_ 1:29 AM _]_

Luka: True, but also rude

_[_ 1:30 AM _]_

Marc: Nath is baby and you're Daddy 

_[_ 1:30 AM _]_

Luka:.....ok first of all never refer to me like that again

Marc Anciel Disliked this post  
Luka posted it. Not sure what he was right about though  
Nathaniel is hanging out with Juleka while Luka and Marc are at work because they were basically already living there anyway, and you can bet as soon as marc and nath graduated high school they moved in permanently  
Juleka: Doesn't the fact that marc and Luka fight all the time make you concerned?  
Nath: Nah, besides, it's not like, real fighting. They just both like to tease eachother too much  
Nath: sips his drink besides, when they fight I get caught in the middle and that's really hot  
Juleka:....you smooth mastermind you. You encourage them don't you  
Nath: They'll never believe you  
Juleka: All this time I thought you were just stupid. I was a fool, how could anyone take it up the ass as much as you do and not realize they're at least a little bit gay  
Nath:....I;m not sure if that was an insult or not  
The Youngest(TM) (UN)07/08/2020  
Dun dun master plot revealed

Sinnamon Troll💖07/10/2020  
https://www.facebook.com/dima.degtyar.5/videos/2721482204750042/  
Marc sends this video to Alya like "omg, the cryptids are out here stealing our cat food!"

half of this au is just Marc half a step away from beating Luka's ass  
and that one time Luka literally beat HIS ass

Sinnamon Troll💖07/16/2020

Luka going on a long rant about why hemp and weed should be legal

He totally deals

He doesn't grow, he doesn't have the space for it, but he has a supplier and sells

he might have a plant or two for private use though

Marc is banned from having any

he's naturally too horny and weed makes it WORSE

He thinks this is unfair

Sinnamon Troll💖07/22/2020

https://novallion.tumblr.com/post/624277782862692352/surprisedentistry-surprisedentistry

Sinnamon Troll💖07/22/2020

Nathaniel and Marc are the boyfriends who will cuddle up and read books together. Except they're both reading seperate books

Luka is dyslexic or something but enjoys when they read to him

Sinnamon Troll💖07/22/2020

"Jaskier waking up in bed in the middle of the night like "I AM STRUCK BY MUSICAL INSPIRATION". And he tries to leave the bed, but Yennefer and Geralt have their arms around Jaskier's waist and they're not letting go until sunrise."

Ok but make Jaskier Luka, and Yen and Geralt Marc and Nath

Luka: omg you guys look at this snake-  
Luka: this is me when I see you 8)  
Marc: That's very sweet but if you don't get that thing away from me so help me my foot is going up your ass

Luka: Hey Marc 8)

_[_ 10:57 AM _]_

Marc: I hope god has mercy on you when you enter the gates of hell, because if you put that thing anywhere near me I WONT

_[_ 10:58 AM _]_

Nathaniel, in the background just minding his own business, watching the daily drama:


	11. Chapter 11

Misheard lysics  
the real lyrics are on the bottom  
Marc: I love the song "Material girl" because I too, refuse to have a man on main if he can't manage ten inches.  
Luka:.....first of all what are you talking about  
Nath: Second...does this mean I'm the side ho??  
Marc: kisses Nath shhh you're an exception  
Marc: repeats the above lyrics  
Luka: Oh my god, you idiot. Those arn't the lyrics, it's says the real lyrics  
Nathaniel: I'm the side piece. I knew it-  
Luka: babe you're focusing on the wrong thing here  
Nathaniel, already insecure because Marc never lets him top and seems to like Luka's dick more  
Nathaniel: I'm sorry I'm just average :sob:  
Luka: Look what you did you ignorant slut-  
Nath: sniffs don't call him that  
Marc: hugging Nath from the other side I love you so much you don't even know. I was just making a joke I I'm sorry I swear-  
oh no I made it sad  
I just wanted to make a sluts rights Marc joke about liking big dicks but now Nathaniel is sad

peaking of weird animal problems

Marc, beggin Ladybug to take his Miraculous back because he developed a piss kink

he needs therapy now

So because I keep finding more and more werid animal facts that just makes everyone's life hell

I want to say that there's SUPPOSED to be an official bonding ritual that's held when a new holder is permanently given a miraculous so this weird animal stuff either doesn't happen, or is more controllable

But Fu is terrible and wasn't expecting it to take this LONG to get rid of hawkass so he never told any one about it

Flow Mechanics [Krym/Zylo]08/14/2020

seems accurate

Sinnamon Troll💖08/14/2020

After this tab's version of Miracle Queen (which, since Chloe is perma bee wouldn't happen, but SOMETHING that makes Ladybug the guardian instead)

Marinette is going through the book and finds it and is like

........

frantically spamming the group chat with the new information

Finding the right stuff for the ritual becomes priority ONE

I also want to say, they only have enough for ONE ritual, but they can do multiple holders

So LB and CN give them all a choice: Now that they're graduated and moving on to the adult world they can either hang up the miraculous and go about their lives, or commit and stay in Paris Texas forever (or at least until they get Hawkmoth)

nath, Luka, and Marc are like "welp we're poor, not like we were ever going to get our of here anyway" and stay

Max and surprisingly Kim got full ride scholarships and decide to leave

Kagami sadly has already returned to Japan with her mother prior to all this. She was only there for the school year

Not sure about Nino (and I think we said Alya was never chosen)

Chloe has the hardest decision

On one hand, stuck in this backwater town FOREVER? On the other, she loves being queen bee

(She's not public like in canon)

If nino decides to leave CN begs her to stay because he can NOT handle the team just being him, Ladybug, and "those three"

But the ritual requires them to all be not transformed so this means they all know eachother's identities now

Marc: to marinette a few days later I never thought I would be HAPPY to have a reduced sex drive, but here we are.

marinette: Marc we're in the middle of lunch rush, is this really the time? (they work at the same diner)

Marc: There is never a bad time to talk about my sex life

marinette: I literally don't have time to explain why you're wrong

Sinnamon Troll💖08/14/2020

Nathaniel: I thought these urges were supposed to go away, why am I still obsessed with cock?

Marc: looks at Luka suspiciously

Luka: For once it wasn't me who told him that

plot twist, Orikko told him that he liked "cock" because he was the rooster

I mean, they do kinda look like worms

They still attract\can commune with their animal type so much to Marc's displeasure there's still snakes everywhere

Sinnamon Troll💖08/18/2020

Nathaniel sends this picture to his boyfriends, which he saw at some kind of mechanic's convention his dad and brothers dragged him to

On the note of Nath being handy

Marc has officially moved out of his mom's trailer and into Luka's, but they still live in the same trailer park so he still has to deal with her.

Her kitchen sink breaks, and she harasses him to see if "one of his boys" can recommend someone to her cheap since they know people

Nathaniel innocently says that he can just fix it himself, no problem

and goes over while marc is at work

Marc comes home to find Nathaniel sitting at the kitchen table with a cold cup of coffee and a thousand yard stare

Marc: Are you ok?

Nath:.....I went over to fic your mom's sink today

Marc: Oh no, you fool.

Nath: I have seen her vagina

Marc: That stupid bitch- storms out of the trailer to go to his mom's

Marc: MOM! STOP TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIENDS!

Marc's mom: What? he's legal....and such a strapping young thing! You've got two, you can share

Marc: THIS IS WHY DAD DIVORCED YOU-

**image of a fucked up car**

I'm just imagining Nathaniel cuddled into his boyfriends saying something like "That thing....it haunts me..."

Marc: I don't know shit about cars, but I know the HOA would burn someone at the cross for that

Luka:....Oh yeah, you used to live in a really rich neighborhood. Took me a moment to realize what "HOA" was

Marc: seriously One time someone called the cops on their neighbor because they hated their lawn gnome

Nathaniel: Now I know you're messing with us

Marc: I am....sadly not

kopycat101 (Our Queen and Mom)08/26/2020

Nath: Ya'll'dn't've.

Marc, tears streaming down his face: What does this even mean???

Sinnamon Troll💖08/26/2020

Marc, being from the city\father north and a more well off background, has no idea how to speak redneck

kopycat101 (Our Queen and Mom)08/26/2020

Fair

Sinnamon Troll💖08/26/2020

Luka, being this shit he is who loves antagonising Marc, endeavors to speak only in redneck slang and idioms during sex

Luka: Mmm, boy. I'm gonna work you over like a cow with a stuck head

Marc: Did you just call me a cow? Did you just fucking call me-

Sinnamon Troll💖09/06/2020

Marc and Luka solidarity at being more mature than their mothers

scratch that, BLEMIR and Luka would get along great because older siblings who had to care for their younger sibs and grow up too fast because their mom is irrsponsible

Blemir, smoking some weed with Luka in a Bond With the Brother In Law moment

Blemir: I don't know, I guess I just feel like I failed him growing up, because he got into sex, drugs, and other drama so young

Luka: It's not your fault things turned out like that, you were just a kid too

Blemir: I was so desperate to get away from our mom that I wasn't there for him like I should have been. I had to find out during a fight with him and mom that he was twelve, twelve, the first time he had sex and it was with a teacher! And mom ENCOURAGED it!

Blemir: crying

Luka: just trying to be there because he doesn't know what to say

Luka is the one who like, helped Juleka get ready for school in the mornings, cooked her breakfast, signed school notes ect. for her when she was little

Luka is also low key ready to murder marc's mom

Sinnamon Troll💖09/06/2020

to be fair, marc low key wants to murder his mom

Anyway, Nath and Marc come home from where ever they were to find both Luka and Blemir stoned out of their minds and sobbing incoherently

Nath: ????!!! Omg what happened are you ok you guys????

Blemir: I hic h-ahte...mom...

Marc: Shit, valid

Luka: I love my mom but I'm so stressed

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/06/2020

Marc's mom is a terrible human being and mother. Luka's mom is a good person but a terrible mother

Sinnamon Troll💖09/06/2020

nod

Anarka works hard, which is why she's never home, but she's not that responsible

Sinnamon Troll💖09/08/2020

Luka needs more backstory

where is this man's father

and does he pay child support

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/08/2020

Luka's father was a wannabe rocker who never got a break, and also never discovered he had a son, so no child support. Luka's father has no idea he exists as he was a one night stand for Anarka.

It's either that, or Luka's father is dead because Anarka killed him for reasons and got away with it

Sinnamon Troll💖09/08/2020

what about Juleka

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/08/2020

Different father, likely another one night stand or a very short relationship. Anarka never struck me as the type to attempt to settle down

Sinnamon Troll💖09/08/2020

I'd like some drama where Daddy shows up and is like "I want to see my kids"

and Anaraka is like "why? You haven't wanted to see them the past ten years"

Sinnamon Troll💖09/08/2020

or we could do something where someone shows up at Nath's house and is like "so where's my son"

and Nath's mom is like sweating

Nathaniel, the ONLY person in his family with red hair: What could this man be talking about

Sinnamon Troll💖09/08/2020

Luka is the only one with a car\truck so Marc pesters him to drive him to the next biggest city because his favorite store is having a blowout sale

Marc has a license....he's just not allowed to drive the truck lol

Marc's driving idea is "bitches better move or be moved"

Nathaniel offers to drive him. Marc is like ehhhh

Nath: What?

Marc: You're too much of a temptation. I'm there to shop, not get laid in the dressing room

Luka: There's several implications to unpack here

Marc: There's nothing implied at all. You're way too big for a public quickie if I want to keep shopping

Luka: I don't have to penetrate you

Marc: And let you jizz all over my new stuff before I even buy it?!

Nath: Luka, why are you trying to convince him to let you do him in public? I thought you weren't into that?

Luka: He said I can't so now I want to

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/08/2020

lol

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

When you're poor, hanging out at walmart and not buying anything is a thing

The boys find this

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
What's a fancy car that car people would get an instant boner over  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020  
Depends who you're talking about. Normal people? or someone actually into cars. Cuz there's a difference in what each will likely drool over  
Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
Mechanic Nath still working at his dad's shop post graduation  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020  
so someone into cars. Lemme think  
new or old? or no preference?  
Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
Let me give more context  
The customer was super rude, but the car is super hot, so Nath calls up his bf's like "I have the keys to the shop and I am fucking one or both of you in\on this car"  
Nath: Just bend me over the hood  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020  
Dodge Magnum SRT8. it's a station wagon. The SRT8 models are very rare, and came with a 6.1L V8 making ~425 HP. ANd it's a wagon, so plenty of room to "test the suspension" in the back

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
I was expecting a sports car  
When I think station wagon I think like, soccer mom  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020  
it shares its platform with the Dodge Charger and Challenger  
Car nerds tend to love sleepers, and wagons in general  
Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
the more you know  
Luka  
s truck would be good for going camping....except Marc refuses to go with them  
Luka: Come on! It will be fun 8)  


Marc: Nope. My idea of roughing it is no room service.

Luka: Your loss  
Luka and Nathaniel go camping, and send Marc lots of dirty pictures  
Luka: Bet you wish you went with us now (when they get back)  
Marc: What are you talking about  
Nathaniel: Didn't you get the like, 50 pictures he sent?  
Marc: No? phone chimes  
Marc: Oh wait there they are  
Luka: I sent them days ago??  
Marc: From what wifi tower? Did you ask the three little pigs for their password? :rolling_eyes:  
Nath: Oh. Yeah. There's no signal out there  
Marc: pats him on the thigh while scrolling through the pictures  
Marc: So once I again, I profit without doing any actual work. Thanks for the pictures :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:  
Luka:.....That son of a bitch

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

https://failblog.cheezburger.com/thereifixedit/tag/redneck

There, I Fixed It - redneck

Funny Bad Repairs

This page but it's all stuff Marc does

because he's very creative

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

While Nath enables him like "Yeah that would work"

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

Nath, under his breath: Just because it works doesn't mean it should be done

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

Most of these seem to be car fixes so yeah

Marc, asking Luka to down another beer for his redneck windchime: You say somehtin?

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

Nath picked up an old 1980's Chevy Monte Carlo super cheap so he could do a resto-mod (part restoration, part mod project to make it better) on it. One of the first things he does is rip out the old 305 5.0L V8 and replace it with a 4.8L V8 from a more modern Chevy truck (4.8L's are stupid cheap in junkyards, under $500 all day long, and it makes about double the power of the old 305 5.0L while getting better gas mileage).

And when fixed up right, the Monte Carlo was considered a luxury car, so it's classy enough for Marc to remotely like.

It looks like a two seater though, how does he fit his boyfriends  
Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020  
The Monte carlo was a big car. It'd a 2 door, but trust me, it has a big fucking back seat  
Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
Luka: Well, someone has to sit in the back  
Luka and Marc both look at Nath  
Nath: It's MY car!!

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020  
Marc gets the back seat because I think he's the shortest in this au  
Luka is an ass and pushes his seat all the way back

Marc decides if Luka wont let him have leg room, he will rest his feet on Luka's shoulders  
That sounds dirty but it's not  
Marc is in the back seat and using Luka's head rest to prop his feet on  
Nath: Isn't that uncomfortable?  
Marc: Nah

Luka: I'll sit in the back because that's usually where I am anyway  
Luka: Behind you two


	12. Chapter 12

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

Nath is excited about his new car

Marc and Luka buy him seat covers for the front and back

Marc: Look, it's a preemptive measure.

Luka: So when are you getting a car Marc?

Marc: Why would I need one? You're both so happy to drive me around 8)

Luka: to Nath maybe we should start making him walk

Marc: Hey! I pay you guys in gas AND ass!

car insurance is expensive though if he don't really need one

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

Nath: Nah. Just put a deck chair in the bed of your truck for when we take him anywhere

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

(isn't that illegal)

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

yes

but rednecks

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

Marc is a terrible driver, he doesn't get a car lol

So has Luka ever done that thing where you put a tarp in the bed of your truck and fill it with water to make a pool

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

Luka only drives because he has to. If he had his way, he'd take public transportation everywhere, but public transit is shit in America

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

Expecially backroads redneck america

You live in the country, you need a car

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

I wouldn't recommend making a pool out of a truck bed simply because it'll wear out the suspension faster

but it can be done

a god (christal)09/09/2020

Just put a mattress in the bed of the truck and you’re good

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

THAT will wear out the suspension

bounce bounce bounce

a god (christal)09/09/2020

I don’t even know what a suspension is

And I’m too tired to learn

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

it's what makes the car bounce on bumps instead of break, it absorbs shock

a god (christal)09/09/2020

Nooooooo knowledge being sucked into my brain box

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

the suuspension is a system under the car that suspends it in the air (hence the name) and helps soak up road bumps and make cornering possible

a god (christal)09/09/2020

Ok thanks for the suspense goodbye

Dad 🚗 (Sneksnacc)09/09/2020

Nath folds the front seats flat in the Monte to make a makeshift bed

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

so that is a thing they can do, but is it comfortable?

Sinnamon Troll💖09/09/2020

I just want them to drive out to the middle of nowhere to stargaze or something and then get it on

that's romantic right?

the gang keep showing up to akuma fights in Luka's truck, but Gabriel never makes the connection to try and look for that car because he's a fashion nerd and doesn't know anything about cars and common people

Adrien goes for a trip somewhere with Luka

Adrien: Thanks for taking me (x place)!

Luka: yeah, just be careful of the stains on the seats.

Adrien: Oh I don't mind getting food on my clothes haha

Luka: Food. Yes.

Adrien: Though...not to be judgy or anything but it looks like you eat a lot of mayonnaise. That isn't healthy

Luka: says nothing and stares out the window as he drives

Sinnamon Troll💖09/10/2020

Not to derail the railing but

where the FUCK is Alix in this au???

We've got like 50,000 words of Nathaniel based bullshit, and his best friend doesn't even show up once???

Alix would make an amazing trailer park gremlin

unless she lives in town because her dad curates the local museum so they have a bit more money

they're not middle class, but they're not trailer park level

Sinnamon Troll💖09/14/2020

I wish I had time for this AU, but Rich Kid Adrien and Middle Class Marinette visiting the Boys in the trailer park fora team meeting or what ever because they're the only heroes left

And being like "Damn, you guys live like this?"

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

Marinette and Adrien show up to the trailer park for a team meeting. Luka is protectively holding this HUGE snake while Marc screams at him, Nathaniel is trying to calm down a flock of screeching hens that are frantically flapping around, Juleka and Rose are chilling in the outside lounge chairs watching the drama, and a trailer a few rows down seems to be on fire

Marinette: W-what is going on?!

Marc: THIS ASSHOLE PUT THAT THING ON ME WHILE I WAS TAKING A NAP-

Adrien: Is that trailer on fire?? Should we do something about that-

Marc: THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM

Nath: please guys you're upsetting the hens-

Several dogs are barking

Later, when everyone has calmed down

They're sitting in the living room and Luka offers Mari and Adrien a seat on the couch, but Juleka stops them

Juleka: Better not, the floor is safer. I had to set the last couch on fire

Mari and Adiren: ?????

Sometime while they're all hangning out, Marc's mom knocks on the door

Marc's mom: You're having a party and didn't invite me? tuts Oh well I'm here now, introduce me to your friends!

Marc: You weren't invited for a reason-

Adrien: Oh, hello Mrs. Anciel! I'm Adrien Agreste 8)

Marc's mom: Oh? The model? Marc sweetie why didn't you tell me you knew someone so important?

Adrien: Ah, I'm not great! My girlfriend, Marinette, is the real talent!

Marc's mom: Oh so you're straight. 8)

Marc: Mom I swear to god if you don't get your skank hands off of him right now-

Adrien: gasp How can you say that to your mother? )))8

Marc's mom: I'm so sorry about his manners....I fear didn't raise him right...he only has me since the divorce you see where my exhusband took everything from us...

She says while clinging to Adrien's arm

Marinette: oh no! How awful!!

Marc: oh for fuck's sake, she's only smoozing up to you because you're rich.

Marc's mom: Lila levels of fake hurt

Adrien: Marc what-

Marc's mom: Well since YOU failed to catch a man worth anything twice momma just has to put in the extra work.

Marc: ExCUSE me? Don't insult my men like than you dried up cum rag-!

Marc and his mom start arguing like Kardashians

Luka calmly escorts a shell shocked Marinette and Adrien outside

Luka: I can tell you guys need to take a minuite. Marc's mom can be...pretty intense

Adrien: Yeah.....

Luka: At least you got out without her grabbing your dick

Marinette and Adrien: what?!

Luka: nods oh yeah, she's been after me and Nath since day one. nath is acyually kinda traumatized about it due to the time she got naked when-

Marinette: OK WE'VE HEARD ENOUGH-

In summary Marinette and Adrien, slammed with a HEAVY dose of culture shock, never visited again

Plagg was sad because this meant he had to continue getting his drama second hand from Ziggy

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

I hate Marc's Mom here so much-

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

So does he, poor Marc

Marc's feelings on the matter are; if she's going to be a gold digger could she at least be good at it?

To add more drama, Maybe Marc went with her during the divorce because the man she was married to is not his father (though he is Blem's)

His dad is actually someone SUPER famous, but they want nothing to do with Marc and literally pay his mom to keep quiet about it

Which is how she gets by with no job

marc doesn't know who this man is

He's never met him or gotten so much as a birthday card

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

Blemir is absolutely angry with their mom and marc's dad

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

he only finds out when the aging actor (who is probably a good decade or so older than Marc's mom) decides he needs a scandal to stay relevant

Marc only finds out when the paparazi show up to the park looking for him

The actor plays it off as if Marc's mom "hid" Marc from him

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

Someone's definitely not happy with him

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

Marc's mom is still getting money from him so she plays along

she tearfully tells the press that she wanted "her baby" to grow up safe and normal, away from all the back stabbing and stress kids of famous people usually have to go through....like she did because do you know she was an actress-

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

WOMAN

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

the press, to Marc: So why are you living in this other trailer and not with your mom

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

I’m gonna punt her

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

Marc, who knows how to talk to the press because he was trained for it: Well you know, I'm 18. I can't live with my mother forever.

Press: I see I see...and what about the other two men you're living with?

Marc: They're my boyfriends. Yes, both of them.

press goes wild

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

Goddamn it press

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

Marc is low key hoping they'll leave if he makes his bio dad not want anything to do with him but jokes on him the press is loving this

Because maybe his dad had spoken out before against gay people, and now his long lost son is gay AND dating two men at once?!

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

Poor Marc

Sinnamon Troll💖09/17/2020

Poor Marc, he just wants to happily live with his bfs but all this shit keeps happening to him

College Sibling (Web)09/17/2020

We gonna bop them

ImHidingInTheFridgeNow09/17/2020

Marc just wears slutty clothes (sluttier than usual) so if the reporters swarm him they have to record him half naked

Sinnamon Troll💖09/18/2020

Jokes on him they love that shit

THIS is roughly how he usually dresses

Sinnamon Troll💖09/18/2020  
Nathaniel: Marc how come you're not into twinks? Isn't that what gays like?  
Marc: Nath I'm gay because I like men  
Nath: ????  
Marc: As opposed to boys  
Nath: ???  
Marc: sigh Ok so Adrien is cute right? But put him next to Luka and it's obvious one of them is a boy and the other is a MAN despite being almost the same age  
Nath: doing mental math so Adrien is not hot but Luka is?  
Marc: Don't worry about it pats him on the head  
Nath: Wait what about me, I look more like Adrien than Luka-  
Marc: You are a man because under that skinny bone structure you are surprisingly solid  
Nath: What about chubby boys? Can they be men???  
Marc: You're thinking about it too much!!  
Marc: All you gotta know is I like your dick, don't call me out on my standards like this :weary:


End file.
